Welcome one and all to election profit makers, your guide to winning and losing money on political outcomes and current events using online prediction markets, which are suddenly very much in the news, the center of multiple controversies all across this country.

What country is that, you ask? Can't you tell from my accent? United States of America, you dingbat?

United States of America are countries currently at war with Iran.

And depending on what time of day it is, the war is either wrapping up, has barely just

begun or ended six months ago.

It's very hard to tell what's going on, but we're here to try to help you make sense

of all of it and help you position your portfolio to maximize your profits vis-a-vis this war and any resultant atrocities. My name is David, and I'm joined on the line by John. Hi. I hate to do this. What? Did I say something? No. You're correcting me? No. Are we not at war with Iran? We are. Okay, good. Thank God. What? But I'm at war with dehydration at the moment.

Oh, you have to take a huge swig of water? And I don't have any in here. Oh, I'm happy. All right, we're taking a quick water break. John's going to go out and get some water. That's fine. Good for you. Good. It's important. All right. I just, I needed to let you know my needs.

I'll let everybody know that I have my water bottle right here.

All right.

All right. I just, I needed to let you know my needs. I'll let everybody know that I have my water bottle right here.

All right.

Always at my side.

Metal water bottle.

And I'll treat you all to a sound of a podcast host hydrating using Nature Zone H2O.

Here we go.

Fresh, clean water straight from the tap.

There's nothing like it, folks.

If you are addicted to energy drinks or soda pop,

may I recommend that you put those down and exchange them

for the flavorless drink that provides no energy,

only hydration, and that's water.

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