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The Dick Show

Episode 311 - Dick on Dragging Kids

The Dick Show

Dick Masterson

Comedy

4.71.3K Ratings

🗓️ 7 June 2022

⏱️ 110 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Veterans against guns, kid drag shows, Johnny the Audio Engineer is back, more medical misinformation, acid lite, problems with Top Gun, destroying the Mona Lisa, hacking elections, and a bad watermelon salad; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Oh my God. The smell of that smoke on you's driving me crazy. Man. That's been the hardest

0:09.1

part. Have you not been smoking? No, because it's so bad for your healing. Well, don't

0:14.8

be a bitch. Just keep smoking. Don't be a bitch. Smoke more. Smoke more. Classic doctor

0:20.5

advice. Be a man. All right. Can you crank up your volume a little bit? Because Vito is

0:25.2

by far the loudest. Well, as always, maybe pop it down a little bit. You might need to

0:30.5

bring me down in the mix. The hardest part, but then the girl's going to come in and

0:34.5

you're going to want to pop it back up. Yeah. Vito's going to go up for that. This is

0:37.9

very complicated. That's why we need an engine. That's why you need to work. This is

0:44.4

carebearers compared to what I've been doing. Oh, really? This is carebearers.

0:48.5

Abbage patch right here. Yeah. Pull yourself up as high as you can go. That's my. That's

0:55.9

my. That's your last. That's your request. Cool. For you, I would check different.

1:00.4

Shut up. Vito. Yeah. But the hardest part is the no smoking because I want to drink. Yeah.

1:08.6

I want to enjoy my drinks with a nice little cigarette and look cool and feel cool. It's

1:13.8

only time you feel cool. It's only time you feel cool in life. Smoking. No matter how hot

1:19.5

the woman you're with is never will you will never feel good about yourself because they

1:23.8

will take that away from you. But it's cigarette. You smoke that thing. You have all the power.

1:28.6

Because you have a prop and the prop involves fire. It would be the same as if you were just

1:33.8

holding a torch and a bar. You know, you go, well, that guy clearly has all the power

1:37.5

in the room. Yeah. He's got a fire. Yeah. Exactly. This episode is brought to you by

1:42.6

Philip Morris. God, I wish you wish that smoke. Oh, my God. Can you imagine if there

1:48.0

were a lot to advertise? We would be we would never have to talk about Star Wars or any

1:52.0

of this shit again. If we were to talk about cigarettes, just taste of Nick. Imagine that

...

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