Is noticing a woman is beautiful the same as lusting after her? It's Sheila from the

to love honor and vacuum podcast and we are going to tackle something a little bit

controversial in the church today.

I am so glad that you've joined me for this podcast,

the place where we always like to talk about marriage

and all things sex in the Christian church,

because marriage is supposed to be a passionate adventure and not just a big to-do list and often we've created all these rules around marriage and sex which make everything just so hard.

So today we're going to put some common sense to this question of what exactly is lust because I honestly

think the way that we frame lust in the church hurts men, it hurts women, it hurts the church, it hurts our witness, it hurts

marriages, it's just plain hurtful, and so let's look at it in a different way.

I've written about this in a variety of different blog posts but I want to summarize some of the arguments and put them together in just a new cohesive way today

And by the way I will link to those articles in the description of this podcast.

So you can just click on that link

and you will find lots of extras to go along with this.

We can go on some rabbit trails.

But here we go.

There are a whole host of Christian materials and books that are trying to help men defeat lust, which they call every man's battle.

And the way that this is supposed to happen is that men need to learn to

bounce their eyes. So if they see a woman and she may trigger lust, they need to learn to

bounce their eyes so they don't look at any

particular body part and they're not tempted. I find this really

problematic for all kinds of reasons but one of them is that it makes men hyper vigilant

...