Episode 279 - Dick on Swallowing Hair

The Dick Show

Dick Masterson

Comedy

4.7 • 1.3K Ratings

🗓️ 12 October 2021

⏱️ 164 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Dave Chapelle is canceled, a self-defense school shooting, "Fat Watch" with Tess Holiday, Adam from Houston has fun with a speculum, a never-ending state of un-safety, swallowing hair, whistleblowing, carbon-saving driving directions, and electroshocking your brain to cure depression from being fat; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Transcript

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0:00.0	Why do it sober when you don't have to?
0:03.2	Sunday.
0:04.2	Always do it in your natural state.
0:05.6	Yeah.
0:06.6	Yeah.
0:07.6	No more comfortable like this.
0:08.6	I realize, I realize recently that if you only have a turning 40 maybe, you only have
0:13.9	a finite amount of times you can get drunk left, so don't waste them not drinking.
0:23.1	That's what I came to the realization.
0:25.0	I guess technically everyone has a finite amount of times there.
0:27.8	But you don't think about that when you're a kid.
0:29.7	You just drink and you say, oh, I'm never going to do it again.
0:32.8	But then you get to a point in your life and like, why would I ever even threaten something
0:36.6	like that?
0:37.6	Well, because you probably know yourself well enough to go, yeah, I'll do it again.
0:41.4	It's just not something to joke about.
0:43.2	You got to treasure every opportunity you have because you only have a finite amount
0:48.1	of times to go out and get obliterated left.
0:52.0	Have you estimated, you know, how many times you have left?
0:55.1	Yeah.
0:56.1	God.
0:57.1	If you actually were like, if I had a counter like in spawn, you remember that show spawn?
	...

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