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TBTL: Too Beautiful To Live

Episode #2496: Andrew “The Human Microwave” Walsh

TBTL: Too Beautiful To Live

TBTL

Leisure, Comedy

4.82.3K Ratings

🗓️ 24 October 2017

⏱️ 69 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Luke joins the show from New York City, where, it turns out, few salsas are actually mass produced. He and Andrew also discuss the anti-straw movement, how not to eat with chopsticks, and a doping scandal at the Iditarod.

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Hey guys, I just woke up and I had to tell you that I had a dream that I shaved my head, and I think I owe it all to Luke.

0:10.0

So that was disturbing because I did not look good with a shaved head.

0:19.0

So thanks for the nightmare, pow out.

0:23.0

So it's the first line of the film, man. It's got to be on the money here.

0:32.0

Please, I hate to say this about anyone, but that man is Philip Bologna. Bologna. You're right.

0:38.0

He's so vile we should use the crude Americanization of the word. He's Philip Bologna.

0:42.0

I'm here for all you teachers and teamsters, you farmers and charmers.

0:48.0

Whether you're a mom or two broke girls or three men and a baby or a rock and roller,

0:55.0

holy roller, push and stroller, throw a bowler with an abscess muller.

1:01.0

If you want to pick a fight with your body's sexual chi, it's just going to drive it inwards.

1:06.0

And that invites disease and death.

1:09.0

Oh, it feels good to laugh.

1:21.0

Are you ready, Rudy?

1:23.0

I'm just going to say that every show now. Why not? Hi, everybody. Welcome to a Tuesday afternoon

1:29.0

edition of TBTL, the show that just might be too beautiful to live.

1:35.0

My name is Luke Burbank. I am your host coming to you today from the shores of Central Park in Manhattan in New York City.

1:48.0

Bringing you episode 2,496 in a collector's series, enjoying a delicious salad from that place that I always talk about

2:00.0

when I'm staying here at La Parker Meridian Hotel. There is a place across street called Chopped.

2:07.0

I swear to God, I flew, I don't know what it was, 2000 some odd miles to the other coast of the United States.

2:14.0

And then went from Newark, New Jersey here to 56th Street in Manhattan so that I could get a salad that I really like.

2:23.0

Never do anything out of hunger.

2:25.0

It's completely worth it, my friends. It's episode 2,496, as I've already mentioned.

...

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