The basic plan we have for the family is the family talk plan. It's called all-talk.

You get 400 anytime minutes, which can use anytime. There's another one called even more family,

and that is 400 anytime minutes unlimited nights and weekends. That sounds great. What do you

that? There's more options, can I? There's even more family unlimited, which is unlimited minutes

and texting plus web. Okay, so one doesn't have texting, the other doesn't have web. We'll just get one

that has everything. Okay, well then you want the simply everything plan. Okay. There's also simply

everything plus. Which is what? Simply everything plus texting. What we want is your own standard

basic family plan with an satellite locator. The this changes everything plan is what you want then.

Great. So you're all set, you're all signed up. Now there is a nominal fee if you want to keep

your current phone number. Yeah, I thought that was a free service. After you pay for it, it is free,

so it's just a one-time fee that you pay annually. It's not a one-time fee, but it is one time

in that you only pay one time a year. Great. All right, great. You guys are ready to pick out your

sunglasses. T-B-T-L. Ladies and gentlemen, let us welcome Washington's fearless political

satirist, the court jester on the poop deck of the ship of state. Why is this man wearing no pants?

The answer will surprise you. There are many ways to keep one's lips conditioned. I don't

kiss for example 24 hours before performance because kissing makes your lips mushy and we cannot

have mushy lips and be a champion. Why would either one of you, you know, why? Dear God, why?

It's a P-A-R-T-Y because I said so.

It is indeed, well TGIF everybody and welcome to a Friday afternoon edition of T-B-T-L,

the show that just might be too beautiful to live. My name is Luke Burbank. I am your host coming to you

from the small maritime village of Port Townsend, Washington bringing you episode 2,100 and 24

in a collector series. We got lots to talk about. We will play you some of that audio of Kanye West

...