Episode 211 - Dick on Criminalizing Sobriety

The Dick Show

Dick Masterson

Dickmasterson, Biggestproblemintheuniverse, Comedy

4.8 • 1.3K Ratings

🗓️ 16 June 2020

⏱️ 172 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Racist systems, Vermin Supreme calls in, faking your death, shaving your ugly face, Aydin talks about Karen syndrome, exercising while fat, anxiety dreams about the show, what Ralph is known for: clean living, salads, and emotional restraint, Kian is too good at Magic, my wife is sending nudes, the CHAZ, dental police, and a guy who won't stop talking about his childhood; all that and more this week on the Dick Show!

Transcript

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0:00.0	Two minutes early. Thanks Tristan.
0:03.0	Whoo! Thanks for that compliment.
0:05.0	Oh man!
0:06.0	Remember this day.
0:07.0	My face feels so fucked up.
0:09.0	Good, why?
0:10.0	Shaved? I'm weird.
0:12.0	I feel like a little girl.
0:13.4	What possessed you?
0:15.8	I just got sick of it.
0:18.8	Sick of seeing the same thing.
0:21.8	Myself, the lockdown beard that I've been having
0:26.0	all the gray yeah that's where it goes first
0:32.0	you know what I'll be honest?
0:34.0	I was thinking that I was not seeing how fat I really was because I was, I had a beard.
0:41.0	So I said I'm not going to let myself hide behind my fat hiding
0:45.8	beard. You pulled the veil? Yeah. So I was behind the curtain? Yeah. Were you
0:50.6	like surprised either way? Yes because I when you when I shaved for the first time every time I find myself
0:57.8	Horrificically ugly like as it's so different. Well, it's different number one and the ugliness that's all
1:04.7	that's all a big part of it do these pants make me look fat
1:11.1	no your fat ass makes you look fat. Your face looks ugly as well.
1:15.0	Yeah. I feel like I'm like an ugly like a Joan Rivers like just stretched my races all stretched like, oh God, why did you do this again?
	...

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