Episode 184 - Dick on Fatsmas Carols

The Dick Show

Dick Masterson

Dickmasterson, Biggestproblemintheuniverse, Comedy

4.8 • 1.3K Ratings

🗓️ 10 December 2019

⏱️ 146 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Inflatable Christmas ornaments, the millennial wealth gap, suicide threats, Chris the Kiwi gets laid and petitions Trump for amnesty and financial aid, DMT vs. God, Fatsmas Caroles gets flagged, fist bumps are the soy high-fives, Sean looks terrible, awful children who wrecked my parents house, I ruined the Mandalorian for everyone, and rebooting The Biggest Problem with Boogie2988; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Transcript

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0:00.0	You used to look perfect.
0:04.0	I guess.
0:05.0	No, you used to look great.
0:08.0	It used to look like a full version of you, but this just looks blurry as fuck.
0:12.0	Okay, I gotta get it out of my head I can't
0:13.7	yeah roll I can't all right oh oh
0:18.6	20 fucking minutes 20 fucking minutes
0:21.0	20 fucking minutes because they don't save the settings.
0:24.0	Unbelievable.
0:25.0	Just been dicking around drinking diet soda.
0:26.0	Could have been in here fixing fucking cameras, but no.
0:29.0	That's surprising to me. I wonder why they don't do that.
0:31.0	You know what I saw when the power went out?
0:33.6	What? I walked outside. Jesus? Yeah, I saw Jesus. I walked outside. I saw him the other day too.
0:38.9	And I'm just looking to see if it was my house or everybody else because I don't want to claw through all the electric bills
0:47.3	Yeah, I don't want to claw through all the bushes and shit that they put in front of the fuse box
0:53.2	because God forbid it can be in an easy to access place
0:57.0	like just inside of your garage.
0:59.7	Anywhere.
1:01.0	Why they build it in the side, the house in the worst spot crammed with
1:05.2	bushes I do I will never know and will never forgive the person who does it but I
1:09.2	don't want to climb in there I don't want to put on normal person clothes while I'm in my pajamas and do it.
	...

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