Hey, Lauren here. Not a great last few weeks. Today we're talking about, as part of my mind-body 14 cleanse. We're talking about purpose and meaning.

Now this mind body cleanse was supposed to finish on the 14th December and it still has three episodes to run which to me the person I am is quite I'd use the word horrific and I did the last three episodes and then I listened to them and I just felt they weren't good enough, they weren't clear.

The point didn't clearly come across and the frame of mind or the the place I was

mentally at that time was not suitable to do a podcast and as much as I love doing what I do I need to be in a certain place in my

head space to do it. I don't know of him in that head space today but I thought I'd just share that with you. I really question speaking

with you when I'm not doing well and I'll talk about what it means to not be doing well. I question it because what I enjoy

about these episodes is giving something to you that helps you, that I feel like I'm talking to a friend that we've got this virtual situation

when we're sitting down together having a hot cup of something. And in the last few weeks there has been like, you know how there's a

shaky rock face and there's a couple of stones that run down and then all it takes is a bit of a sound and another sound and the whole mountain collapses down.

Well, my mountain in quite a few ways collapsed down and I worked very hard for it not to

collapse down but it did.

So after a lot of thought I thought I'd redo mind, redo the episode on purpose and meaning, finding purpose,

how to find purpose and meaning in life. I thought I'd redo that the last few days and I didn't. And then today I thought I'd redo that the last few days and I didn't.

And then today I thought got up late,

I got up at 930, and I usually get up to say at 530,

I'm an early riser, got up late

and a number of things happened this morning that weren't good.

And when the last thing occurred, which I'll tell you about in a moment, I thought I'm just sitting

down to speak with you because you're my friend you're my friends and I

want to have a chat because isn't that what life's about we all all go through our stuff. I wanted to swear then, but I need to keep it clear.

We all go through our stuff. We've all got our different stories, our different experiences,

our different feelings, set of feelings about what stage we're going through.

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