Episode 166 - Dick on How to Start a Cult

The Dick Show

Dick Masterson

Dickmasterson, Biggestproblemintheuniverse, Comedy

4.8 • 1.3K Ratings

🗓️ 6 August 2019

⏱️ 166 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Losing the last ten pounds, the liquor sponge, the only gun argument you'll ever need, robot racism, The Bagel Boss calls in to talk about his various altercations, more on the moron Perception Gap, food expiry dates are destroying half of our food, Nick Rekieta calls in to talk Vic Lasagna odds, how to dump your girlfriend after she gets cancer, how to out-religious your parents, how to start a cult, and the notorious Eggy White; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0	All right, let's do it.
0:02.0	Presenting. Dick Dick Dick Dick. Dick.
0:13.0	Dick.
0:15.0	Ready.
0:17.0	Yeah!
0:18.0	Yeah!
0:21.0	Yeah! Welcome to Dick!
0:22.0	You want to do you dig, you dig, you got it. It's a show!
0:25.0	Where does the contest coming to you live from Mount Bunker Deep in the Hard City of Failure?
0:28.0	I mean, Hostick Masterson, aka The 20 million dollar man, recently voted America's worst Mexican 14 weeks running with me as always world touring LA based comedian Sean the audio engineer.
0:38.0	Hello Dick. Hey, what's up buddy? I'm gonna start calling myself the 200 pound man any day now Sean. Is that right? to Oh, it's down from yesterday. It's daily.
0:53.0	If I wake up and I weigh more than I did yesterday,
0:55.6	I cut off a toe.
0:57.2	What do you want to weigh?
0:58.5	Nothing.
0:59.7	I want to be so fit that I evaporate and that all mentioned all all recordings of me
1:06.3	evaporate from this world. That's all I want. Yes that's all I really want I
1:11.3	think that's a Greek parable.
1:13.0	I don't, Narius, yeah, there was some kind of a fish monster.
1:16.6	I think somebody catches him and goes, what, I want to be happy? What would make me happy?
1:21.6	And he goes, you idiot, the only thing that would make you happy is to never have existed.
1:24.6	Right, right. I thought that was Midas. I think it was too. Yeah. That's all I want. I want to be so skinny.
	...

Please login to see the full transcript.

Previous episode | Next episode

Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from Dick Masterson, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.

Generated transcripts are the property of Dick Masterson and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.