Took you one minute and twelve seconds to tell one joke. It's too long.

Oh, no, I didn't read it.

Comedy is about timing, son.

Timing. You gotta get him. You gotta tell him.

Okay.

Work on your speed.

TVTL!

You come out. You say hello. You start the show. Here's the show. What's the mystery?

It's all people think I'm fancy, but I like nothing more than to end the day with one of these fine hamburger sandwiches from the good people at the McDonald's.

I'm a simple man. I like pretty dark-haired women and breakfast food.

Get out of here. What is going on? What do you got here? A thunder hurricane going on? A thunder-blizzard hurricane.

Let's get to the good stuff here.

Well, hey there. Welcome everybody to a Wednesday afternoon edition of TVTL.

This is the show that just might be too beautiful to live. My name is Luke Burbank.

I am your host. It's episode 1,575 in a collector series.

Hope you're having a wonderful Wednesday. It's a beautiful day here in the small maritime village of Port Townsend, Washington.

Although as you're hearing this, by the time this gets to you, this goes through the various cables and internet connections and finds its way into your phone, computer, or whatever other device.

Maybe a couple of coconuts if you are marooned on a desert island somewhere and you've worked out a sort of Gilligan's Island-esque, the professor scenario.

I don't know how you listen to the show and frankly, I'm not, I'm not going to judge you on that.

What I am saying is by the time you hear this, I will probably be on an airplane or trying to get on an airplane and heading out to Chicago where the weight weight don't tell me program is recorded.

I will be participating in that show this week.

And so today, while I'm a traveling, we've got a couple of interviews for you first.

...