I'm Floyd Brown. I'm the executive director of Young America's Foundation.

I'm Diana Ho. And I was one of the founders of the media division of the American Psychological Association.

My name is Kevin Beacon, for those of you who need an introduction. I am an award-winning journalist.

I've won a local Emmy, but in truth, I'm just a gypsy, tumbling around the globe, chasing truth,

which is, as you know, quick-silver. The more you try to grasp it, the more it slips through your hands.

The news, because I am the face of it in Spokane, Washington, is my life, my lover, my mistress, my best friend,

and I will fight to the death to defend it. And with that, I relinquish to you, Mr. Chair.

T-B-T-L.

Hi, I'm Chuck Walery, and I'm here to talk to you about catheters.

Describe that man to me again.

Well, I already told you, Lieutenant, he was big and ugly, like a monster in the movies.

I mean, these guys aren't really my friends, you know. I barely know their names.

I mean, I know Carlos, but only because of that old song, Carlos, the tickle monster.

Wait, what song is that?

Oh, God. I knew he made that up. It did help me remember.

I would rather have sex with someone, because they thought I was someone else than not have sex with someone,

because they thought I was me.

It's not easy being drunk all the time. Everyone would do it if it were easy.

All right, let's do this, everybody. Welcome to a Thursday afternoon edition of T-B-T-L.

This is the show that just might be too beautiful to live.

My name is Luke Burbank. I'm your host, this episode 1,576, in a collector's series.

Greetings from Chicago, from the comfortable confines of WBEZ and the NPR Bureau here at Navy Pier in Chicago.

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