Episode 148 - Dick on Short Straws

The Dick Show

Dick Masterson

Dickmasterson, Biggestproblemintheuniverse, Comedy

4.8 • 1.3K Ratings

🗓️ 2 April 2019

⏱️ 125 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Advent calendars of failure, corporate April Fools' Day jokes, too short straws, Article 13 passes, Paul McCartney vs. Michael Jackson, house centipedes, a furry reads the news, eyeball soap, the secret lives of married thots, messaging women in mass quantities, more swinging done incorrectly, and the greatest man in the world pub sing along; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Transcript

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0:00.0	All right, somebody cleared up the penis issue.
0:03.6	Somebody cleared up Michael Jackson's penis issue.
0:06.3	Oh, um, did I read about that?
0:09.5	I think I read about Michael Jackson's penis issue.
0:12.0	I think I did. Everything you were saying seems right.
0:15.1	Yeah, that's right. Yeah, and it seems fucked doesn't it? Completely fucked.
0:20.8	They ruined the music because he's a weird guy. Yeah
0:27.6	Welcome to D. You want to take your left, you need you, you got it.
0:29.8	It is a show where everything's a contest.
0:31.8	Come to be live from a mountain bunker deep in the heart of the city of failure.
0:33.9	I'm your host Dick Masters, and AKA, the $20 million man recently voted
0:37.2	America's best Mexican, 30 weeks running, including the bonus episode.
0:42.6	No, that's 29 weeks running for it.
0:44.6	Yeah, with me as always is LA-based comedian Sean the audio engineer.
0:48.3	Hello Dick. Hey, what's up buddy? How you doing?
0:51.0	Good. I'm happy about that bonus episode that's coming up what tomorrow today? up
0:53.3	how you doing good. I'm happy about that bonus episode that's coming up what tomorrow today. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It was good. Very fun. Very fun stuff. Let's see here. What do I have in the taking care of business section of the
1:06.8	notes? I've got a funny post from Jess. I don't know let me put that up on the
1:11.6	screen so you could see that I love her
1:15.0	posts always a laugh riot yeah the rantings of a woman who belongs in jail
1:27.0	one of the many women loose in the wild who belongs in jail where all the bad men are.
1:30.0	Here's a post from Mental Jess on her,
	...

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