Episode 135 - Dick on The Asterios Muppet

The Dick Show

Dick Masterson

Dickmasterson, Biggestproblemintheuniverse, Comedy

4.8 • 1.3K Ratings

🗓️ 1 January 2019

⏱️ 141 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

The great 2019 virgin race, the lameness of the government shutdown, Buzzed Driving is not Drunk Driving, chewing out waut3rboi, the n-bomb and the great monarchy of America, more on Sargon, my joke horse dies in Red Dead Redemption 2, fake interactivity, the what happened to Maddox's penis game, and the Asterios Muppet; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Transcript

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0:00.0	Zoop, I heard it. I see you trying to do it carefully, but I heard it.
0:05.0	Oh, you got Diet Coke too.
0:07.0	That changes everything.
0:11.0	I realize this was turning into my sister's house.
0:13.0	Oh yeah?
0:14.0	Yeah.
0:15.0	That bitch won't stock a diet Coke if it cured cancer.
0:18.0	Really?
0:19.0	Yeah.
0:20.0	It's true only if Jessica Alba sells it, Well she have it in her house. This is an Alba house. It's been albified.
0:27.0	Alba diapers. Alba dibers. Alba clothes. Yeah. Alba towels. They use beach towels with Jessica Alba on them.
0:35.0	You only know that she has that kind of, you know, she's like a total second career that's really successful,
0:40.0	but you only know that if you have kids or if you know someone with kids.
0:43.2	Really successful?
0:44.2	It's like orders of magnitude more successful than the Titz.
0:48.2	Oh yeah. Tugah, whatever happened to Jessica Alba, you know.
0:50.6	Haven't seen her since, you know, Sin City or anything like that.
0:53.2	It's like, she's a fucking zillionaire.
0:54.8	Yeah, she makes, it's honest, right?
0:59.1	That's her company?
1:00.1	Yeah, yeah, it is, huh?
1:01.1	Honest diapers. Are they, they're the same company that make the drink? It is, huh? Honest Diapers.
	...

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