Hey guys, my name is John Kim. I'm a licensed therapist and life coach putting

self betterment into a shot class because let's face it who's got that much time

these days?

I come unpolished, unrehearsed, on purpose.

If you're looking for more of a wine glass,

you've come to the wrong place.

So I just got some really angry words from an ex yesterday and it really stumbled me, hurt me, made me look inward and think about myself and my actions and I kind of went into a time machine

and replayed some stuff and wondered, you know, how that must have been for her.

And I wanted to make this an episode because I think that so many can relate to this, right?

Getting, whether it's emails or texts or getting some kind of communication from a previous relationship.

Usually they're probably not praises.

You're probably not, you probably don't get messages saying how amazing you were. They're probably coming from a lot of anger

that's come up, maybe that was suppressed and now you're getting a lot of stuff thrown your way.

And that's okay.

So the first thing I want to say is, and this is something that I actually practiced yesterday

and continue to is the first thing you have

to do. My voice just went really high-pitched squirrely, like three stooges.

I don't know why. Okay the first thing you need to do I think is me included is to really take in the comments like they're from God, really, not to be defensive.

Anyone who has experienced you, and it doesn't matter if it is an ex-girlfriend, boyfriend,

it doesn't matter if it's a friend, maybe someone you went to high school with, it doesn't

matter if it's a co-worker, boss, business partner, it doesn't matter.

If someone has experienced you in some way and has feelings about that experience, most of us are instantly defensive, right? I don't think that

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