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The Offensive

Episode 113 - The Fans Doth Protest Too Much

The Offensive

2018/19 Season

Parody, Alan Partridge, Fiction, Spoof, Satire, Mockumentary, Sports, Comedy Fiction, Comedy, Soccer, Football

4.8739 Ratings

🗓️ 19 April 2021

⏱️ 23 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Wembley Stadium plays host to Leicester City v Ashwood City in the FA Cup Semi-Final. A government approved test event has allocated seats for 4,000 supporters inside the 90,000 seater. 


Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan

Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall  

Helena Doughty as Jess Tate

Rhys Tees as Frank Finnan

Kelly Somers as Herself


Additional Voices:

Joel Emery


Episode written by:

Joel Emery


Edited by:

Adam Jarrell


Directed by:

Adam Jarrell


Executive Producer:

Joel Emery



With thanks to:

The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders

www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity


WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.


This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.


Listener discretion is advised.


The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.



Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Warning, this podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.

0:06.3

This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organizations, places or events is purely coincidental.

0:13.9

This podcast is protected under copyright.

0:16.4

Listener discretion is advised. This is the offensive.

0:35.3

It's embarrassing. It's not clever. It's not cool. It's just embarrassing.

0:38.6

I didn't do it on purpose, did I? I still don't see what the problem is. So I said egg McMuffin. What is the big deal? It's not cool. It's just embarrassing. I didn't do it on purpose, did I? I still don't see what the problem is.

0:41.0

So I said egg McMuffin. What is the big deal?

0:43.2

It's Burger King. All right, you're just doing that to be cool.

0:46.5

Ooh, I said McMuffin to the Burger King lady. I'm so hard.

0:47.6

Uh, excuse me?

0:48.5

Howl, what you doing?

0:54.9

Uh, getting's my seat now, bitch. Bitch, right, is there any need for that?

0:56.5

Oh, sorry, muck bitch.

0:59.0

Patrick, you are shotgun first half of the journey, weren't you?

1:01.6

We're now halfway, so Jess gets the other half.

1:03.9

Don't say shotgun, all right, we're not teenagers.

1:06.7

Oh my God, stop changing the subject and give me my seat.

1:08.2

I am not changing the subject.

1:11.1

I'm discussing the exact subject of riding shotgun.

1:16.2

You said shotgun. Now you're changing the subject by nitpicking what it means to change the subject.

1:20.2

I don't know what you're talking about. Look, I'm the chief executive. I'm in the front seat.

1:23.7

Ah, it's a good point, well made, I see. Keep the refraff in the back.

...

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