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The Offensive

Episode 061 - Wayne's World

The Offensive

2018/19 Season

Parody, Alan Partridge, Fiction, Spoof, Satire, Mockumentary, Sports, Comedy Fiction, Comedy, Soccer, Football

4.8739 Ratings

🗓️ 13 January 2020

⏱️ 24 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

The Premier League returns after a brief FA Cup interlude. For Ashwood City preparations for the visit of Crystal Palace have been disrupted by the disgruntled 'Wayne'.


Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan

Helena Doughty as Jess Tate

Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall

Victoria Gibson as Alex Morrison

Thomas Mitchells as Theo Clinton


Additional voices

Lucinda Shaw

Directed by:

Adam Jarrell

Episode written by:

Joel Emery  

Edited by:

Joel Emery

Executive Producer:

Joel Emery


WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.

This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. 

Listener discretion is advised.

The Offensive is property of Primley Limited



Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Do, do, do...

0:03.5

Bampa!

0:07.1

Bampa! Bampa! Bampa! Bampa!

0:09.9

Okay, enough Rasmataz!

0:12.8

But it's not every day a new scratch card drops.

0:15.0

With the new set for five years scratch card from the National Lottery,

0:19.3

you could win five grand a month, every month,

0:21.8

for five years. Pick up yours in store today and get scratching. Search Dream Big Place

0:27.1

Mall. Rules procedures and game-specific rules apply. Place must be 18 or over.

0:32.4

Warning, this podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.

0:38.6

This is a work of fiction.

0:40.0

Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organizations, places or events is purely coincidental.

0:46.2

This podcast is protected under copyright.

0:48.7

Listener discretion is advised.

0:50.4

This is The Offensive.

1:04.0

We're coming to you live from Weatherby Racecourse.

1:10.0

They're lining up along the final furlong here, a colourful array of the very finest the country has to offer. Theie's favorite there looking lean fit and ready for the race here we go and they're off gunnasaurus takes an early lead by a neck length followed closely by cherry bear of aFC Bournemouth with Philbert fox in third oh and Fred the red has collided with Monty Macpie, surely blowing the

1:27.5

mascot Gold Cup wide open. And Hammerhead is coming up on the outside. He moves into second. Gunasaurus

1:32.4

leave becoming shorter by the moment. Harry the Hornet going ahead with Philbert Fox and Cherry Bear in third.

1:37.3

Manchester back in fifth and here comes the White Knight of Ashwood City. He moves into third place.

1:42.2

Gunasaurus is looking tired. The White Knight has passed Hammerhead.

1:45.1

He's closing in on Gunasaurus in these final few yards. It's the White Knight. The Ashwood City

...

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