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The Offensive

Episode 012: Snakes on a Train

The Offensive

2018/19 Season

Parody, Alan Partridge, Fiction, Spoof, Satire, Mockumentary, Sports, Comedy Fiction, Comedy, Soccer, Football

4.8739 Ratings

🗓️ 4 November 2018

⏱️ 24 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

As the scandal deepens and FA investigations continue, Head of Ethics: Benedict Rice, along with Chief Executive Patrick Nolan and the Vice Head of Football Operations Nick Bernardi have accompanied the playing staff aboard the train to Newcastle, as a show of solidarity for their upcoming fixture. 

 

Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan

Sam Hallahan as Nick 'The Prick' Bernardi

Oliver Dowling as Benedict Rice

 

Additional voices:

Joel Emery

 

Episode written by:

Joel Emery

Directed by:

Adam Jarrell

Edited by:

Adam Jarrell

Executive Producer:

Joel Emery


WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.

This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. 

Listener discretion is advised. 

Thanks for listening to The Offensive. Follow the club @AshwoodCity



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Transcript

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0:00.0

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0:10.8

You could shred the slopes in Baldurz's air.

0:13.8

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0:16.7

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0:19.7

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0:26.3

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0:32.1

Warning, this podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.

0:38.5

This is a work of fiction.

0:39.9

Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental.

0:46.2

This podcast is protected under copyright.

0:48.6

Listener discretion is advised.

0:50.3

This is The Offensive.

0:53.1

You don't need me to tell you that this kind of behaviour is frowned upon Keith

0:57.2

Nick Nick, of course

0:59.4

You can go with Nick the prick if that makes things easier

1:01.7

It's fine, I know what Cameron did is wrong, yeah

1:04.3

I know that, but he's been under enormous stress for his stress

1:07.3

Stress! This is how he deals with stress!

1:09.4

He's a little homesick and I just think the club could be doing a little bit more to help him.

1:12.8

Hom sick. He's from North London, not the North Pole.

1:15.1

He's still away from home in a new environment. You must see that.

...

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