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The Offensive

Episode 011: Boats on a Scandal

The Offensive

2018/19 Season

Parody, Alan Partridge, Fiction, Spoof, Satire, Mockumentary, Sports, Comedy Fiction, Comedy, Soccer, Football

4.8739 Ratings

🗓️ 28 October 2018

⏱️ 25 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

During the height of the media storm following The Portsmouth Matter, Ashwood face Cardiff City on the pitch and an FA investigation off it, courtesy of the new Ashwood City Director of Ethics; Benedict Rice.

 

Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan

Helena Doughty as Jess Tate     

Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall

Oliver Dowling as Benedict Rice

 

Additional voices:

Omari Douglas

Rachel Summers

Jo Price

Lucy-Jane Quinlan

Dean Kilbey

Joel Emery


Episode written by:

Joel Emery

Directed by:

Adam Jarrell

Edited by:

Adam Jarrell

Executive Producer:

Joel Emery


WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.

This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. 

Listener discretion is advised. 

Thanks for listening to The Offensive. Follow the club @AshwoodCity


Hall of the Mountain King Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)

Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License

http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/  



Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

With Set for Life from the National Lottery, you could win on repeat.

0:06.0

Imagine £10,000 every month for 30 years.

0:10.8

You could shred the slopes in Baldurz's air.

0:13.8

Then chill on a Caribbean beach.

0:16.7

Then taste your way through Tokyo.

0:19.7

Then back home. To bolt off to set for life, play now and the

0:26.3

National Lottery app. Terms, rules and procedures apply. Players must be 18 or over.

0:32.1

Warning, this podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.

0:38.6

This is a work of fiction.

0:39.9

Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely

0:44.9

coincidental.

0:46.2

This podcast is protected under copyright.

0:48.6

Listener discretion is advised.

0:50.4

This is The Offensive.

0:53.2

Our top story, Ashwood City Football Club find themselves in a crisis, both on and off the field.

1:00.9

Recent revelations by the Ashwood Herald and subsequently the national tabloids,

1:06.0

asserting that a number of first-team players had consorted with prostitutes on a private yacht following a charity match for the RNLI.

1:15.1

The initial stories were compounded this afternoon after the release of both image and video documentation of the event,

1:22.7

showing club captain Kieran Broome and a number of other Ashwood players indulging in the misconduct.

1:29.5

Jeremy Glenn has more on this story.

1:32.4

Just when you thought being a bubblower was playing sailing, it turns out that is not that

1:37.3

straightforward.

...

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