You're listening to episode 85 of the baggage reclaim sessions.

I'm your host Natalie Lou, author of baggage reclaim.com,

where I help people to increase their emotional availability,

so that they can move on from the past, feel confident and happier within,

and show up for the relationships and opportunities that reflect their best selves.

Hello, hello, and welcome back to another episode.

And this is going to be a one z just like the last two.

So for anyone not in the know that means that I am going to be focusing on just one topic.

Now the topic that's coming up I happen to love and it threads through pretty much everything that I talk about with my work with baggage reclaim.

It is the subject of grums. And you know what inspired me to talk about this topic this week?

I got a series of messages from a really close friend of mine who had basically briefly gotten back together with her ex.

And of course, when she got back together with him for what feels like the unteenth time,

it became very apparent that yes, yet again, he still was not ready for a relationship that actually wasn't, I'm not saying he's a bad person, but he's just not particularly nice to her, he's not exactly future husband material, never mind future father material.

And like she really, really, really, really wants to be in a relationship. I mean she has been

talking about this for what feels like quite a long time but in that time yes you

know she kind of bounces back and forwards with this X and another X and so forth.

And so I basically said to her, do you know what?

It's like you're in a restaurant and you don't know what you're ordering.

I said it's as if you have gone in and you said,

right, I'm going to order this.

So you've ordered it from the waiter and then you've gone.

Oh actually, sorry, come back, come back, actually, I changed my mind. I think I'm going to order this.

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