You're listening to episode 86 of the Baggage Reclaim sessions.

I'm your host Natalie Lou, author of Baggage reclaim.com, where I help people to increase their emotional availability

so that they can move on from the past, feel confident and happy within,

and show up for the relationships and opportunities that reflect their best self.

Hello, hello, hello.

In today's episode, I want to talk about rejection, specifically about when we have this attitude of,

I can't believe that you don't want me.

About a month ago I heard from a lady, let's call her Abigail, who have been going out with, let's call him

Dave. And they had recently broken up after a year together. They are both in their mid-30s and she had

been hoping that this might be the one. Not necessarily because he was the one, but more because it was like finally, you know, I'm

with like a decent guy and I can like just get off the market. I just want to get married, I just want to settle down. I don't want to go for this whole

dating thing all over again. And Dave had what she felt was out of the blue, said, I don't think that this is working. I don't think we're going to work in the long term.

There hadn't been anything dramatic, you know, there weren't, you know, big rows. It was more that he had recognized that as much as they

might like each other in a number of ways that they weren't really a fit in the

long term. Abigail, I think a combination of boiling over from past hurts from

previous relationships as well as I think all of the sort of suppressed frustration

sort of ruminating that she'd been through over the year of that relationship

where she had basically been trying to convince herself that this should be it.

You know he's a great guy. Everybody's saying he's a great guy like, wow Abigail,

you're finally going out with somebody decent.

Of course when people are saying that to you, it's because while the previous people

that you've been going out with haven't exactly been, you know, relationship material,

...