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I sent that email blast out to our newsletter because I was like reviewing all of the stupid, like I fucked up.

I basically pulled every lever week one. I was like calorie deficit, aerobic,

more training, less food, this. And then all of a sudden, it was like, I went and I was like, yeah. And then it stopped. And I was like, I don't have anywhere to go. And then the problem was, and then my sleep started suffering. And I started getting this weird cortisol dump at 3.41 every morning and like oh dude and and then oh, dude. And, and, and then the problem was, I, like, I couldn't sleep.

And then because I've written so much for SI on sleep, I know exactly what the cost of poor

sleep does to you in terms of, like, aging and body fat. Yeah, I'm like, and then the problem

was, I'm like laying in bed, like, like reading this stuff in my mind. And then I started going crazy. And then I was like super stressed of the fact that like I wasn't sleeping and then everything felt like insurmountable to the point. My wife was like, what is wrong with you? I've never seen you shook in your life. And I'm like, I don't know what the fuck is wrong with me and uh but then

the problem was I knew that we had like eight weeks left and I was like do I abort this no because

I'm not going to be Zach Ebeneesh and fucking uh abort this thing before it starts I'm like I will

fucking put my shoulder to the wind and suffer through this motherfucker and I did and I suffered all the way to 260. And the day I stepped on the scale at 260, I had like this like, thank God. Yeah. I was so fucking scared to get like it was because I mean like that last four pounds would not come off. Well, there was a, I want to say probably two weeks out. We were put the girls to bed.

And I had portioned. I was at like 1,800 calories at the time, but I still had portioned it so I could have some cottage cheese at night. Like that was it. But this night, like I ate it in the kitchen. Usually I would make it, take it over the couch and eat it. But like I ate it in the kitchen. And then I was like, well, I'm going to have some tortilla chips.

And I just snacked away a little bit.

And I was like, well, I'm going to have some tortilla chips. And I just snacked away a little bit. And I was like, I was like physically and emotionally so upset. My wife was like, are you okay? And it's like, no, I just fucked up for two weeks out and I just, oh, and I got, I had to go to the back room and I was like so pissed off. And I out like 10 minutes there. She's like, it's going to be okay.

And I was like, at least you have a loving wife who tells you it's going to be okay. My wife on the other hand was like, no, I'm not equipped for this and just would walk away. And I'd be like, I'm like, and then I had this moment of realization, you know, the, And you guys have heard me say it like for years like nobody's coming to save you.

I had this like dark moment with myself at like 3.41 in the morning where i realized that i was the

only one that could fucking save me and that there was nothing anybody could say or do to help me through

this i had to suffer through this and fucking do it and like that was a uh an interesting because i was

like man maybe if i just like maybe my wife just patted me on the back and said it was going to be better. Like, like, you know, because I didn't grow up like that. Like my, if I were to say it to my mom, my mom would be like, the fuck are you? Jesus Christ. So I was like, man, maybe that. And then I was like, no, I just need to suffer through this. I fucked up. and I knew I fucked up because I pulled too many levers. I was like I thought I was going to pull every lever and I was going to get there in six weeks and then just coast. And the problem was like the body didn't respond like I thought it was. And I like now what I'm cautioning people against is like make one change and see if it makes and then if it make and then keep riding that until

that change stops and then add another change don't do everything at once like I did like a

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