Ep 83 - Why Do We Remember the Details So Differently?
Healing Broken Trust In Your Marriage After Infidelity
Brad and Morgan Robinson
4.6 • 737 Ratings
🗓️ 30 December 2025
⏱️ 38 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
In this episode, Brad and Morgan Robinson delve into the complex dynamics of memory and betrayal in relationships. Discover why both partners remember infidelity differently and how these memory gaps can impact healing and reconciliation. Explore the roles of victim and perpetrator, and learn about the psychological and emotional processes that occur after trust is broken. With insights from historical truth commissions and personal anecdotes, this episode offers valuable perspectives on navigating the aftermath of betrayal. Whether you're seeking to understand your own experiences or support a loved one, this episode provides essential tools and strategies for healing broken trust.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | There are differences between the memory of somebody who's been injured and there are differences |
| 0:08.2 | in the memory of somebody who did the hurting. |
| 0:11.1 | So when we're that perpetrator, when we act a certain way, when we hurt somebody, we tend |
| 0:15.7 | to remember that differently than the person who's the victim. |
| 0:19.3 | When a victim gets hurt, they pay attention to certain details |
| 0:22.9 | that are different than what the perpetrator pays attention to. Here's the kicker, though. |
| 0:27.8 | We're talking about it today in context of infidelity and broken trust in a relationship. |
| 0:32.8 | We do this in different scenarios of life. We do this in different areas of life. And so in that sense, |
| 0:40.3 | we're all victims, we're all perpetrators. And that's really important to know and understand. |
| 0:46.3 | Yes, that's really important because I also hear people say all the time, the negative cycle, this and negative cycle that, and that's my role. |
| 0:53.3 | But we take on different roles |
| 0:56.5 | in different scenarios and the same goes here sometimes we're the perpetrators sometimes we're |
| 1:01.5 | the victim in different situations and so if you're just now joining us we're Brad Morgan Robinson |
| 1:07.3 | with Healing Broken Trust and today we're talking about why both partners |
| 1:11.4 | remember the betrayal differently. Um, and so welcome. Yeah. And they can get stuck with this, |
| 1:17.8 | Morgan. Yes. It gets stuck for a reason. It often comes down to memory. Yes. Why they get stuck. |
| 1:22.3 | But it's more than that. We're going to explore that. It's more than memory. It's, |
| 1:25.6 | it's, it's, I feel attacked when you're asking me. |
| 1:28.0 | It's also, you're dismissive, you're avoiding, you're withdrawing, you're not really comforting me when I ask these questions. So there is definitely a memory gap. If you've been betrayed and you've ever asked, why did you do this and, you know, what happened here and what happened there, and all you got is I don't remember or I don't know. |
| 1:45.7 | There's few things that are as upsetting as hearing. and, you know, what happened here and what happened there. And all you got is, I don't remember or I don't know. |
| 1:45.7 | There's few things that are as upsetting as hearing that. |
| 1:48.8 | Right. |
... |
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