Ep 82 - Handling Triggers As A Couple Especially During the Holidays
Healing Broken Trust In Your Marriage After Infidelity
Brad and Morgan Robinson
4.6 • 737 Ratings
🗓️ 23 December 2025
⏱️ 29 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
In this episode of "Healing Broken Trust," Brad and Morgan Robinson discuss the concept of "pre-assurance," a proactive approach to offering reassurance to a partner before they are triggered, especially during the holiday season.
They explore how pre-assurance can help partners feel emotionally safe and valued, emphasizing the importance of understanding and discussing each other's triggers.
The episode provides practical advice on offering pre-assurance in various situations, such as during holidays, social gatherings, before going out, and before physical intimacy.
They also discuss the significance of patience, transparency, and communication in rebuilding trust after infidelity. Additionally, they touch on the role of trauma treatment, specifically EMDR, in the healing process and mention their workshop program that includes a trauma component.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Hi guys, welcome to Healing Broken Trust. We're Brad and Morgan Robinson. Yes. And we are coming |
| 0:08.1 | live today to talk to you about triggers and dealing with those triggers during the holidays. |
| 0:17.5 | We know Christmas is coming here very quickly. We have what ten days? How many days? |
| 0:21.6 | Nine days. Nine days. And we know that it's going to be, you know, it can be pretty hard on a lot of people. |
| 0:29.6 | So Brad, we wanted to talk about this thing that Brad kind of coined and kind of put together. |
| 0:35.6 | And it's a cold. I didn't coin it. I heard it from a client. Oh. And I thought it was, that's really cool. I like that. So it stuck with me. But I did not coin this. Oh, okay. Well, good to know. Yeah. But it's an interesting word. Pre-assurance. Pre-assurance. What do you think about that, Brad? Tell me about it. |
| 0:55.0 | Well, pre-assurance is really important because it's offering reassurance before our partner gets triggered. |
| 1:00.0 | And it's a proactive way to help them feel safe emotionally. |
| 1:04.0 | It's basically saying, I see you, I'm here, you matter. |
| 1:09.0 | So that's really important. And you can use that, any version of that, like I see you, I'm here, you matter. So that's really important. And you can use that, any version of that, |
| 1:12.4 | like I see you, I'm here, you matter in words, our tone, our action, and then our level of affection. |
| 1:20.7 | But it has to be gentle affection because sometimes affection, obviously, is not always welcome after trust gets broken, |
| 1:29.3 | after our spouses betrayed us or hurt us. |
| 1:32.3 | So it's not always welcome. |
| 1:33.3 | But if they are open to it, then we can offer a hug, we can hold their hand, |
| 1:38.3 | we can sit near them without any sort of pressure. |
| 1:41.3 | And that physical affection is saying, I'm not going anywhere I'm here so that |
| 1:46.2 | physical presence when it's welcomed when it's safe when it's like we both agree that it's something |
| 1:51.3 | that's good for us it's really a direct way to soothe somebody who's been traumatized and it just |
| 1:58.5 | helps them feel better. |
| 2:01.6 | Works really well in the early morning when we're tired because we tend to be more triggered in the morning or when we're stressed or in the evening. |
| 2:09.6 | Yeah. |
... |
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