This week I talk about those inappropriate and insensitive remarks that are made to singles.

Plus I talk about whether we can get over abandonment and abuse.

I'm Natalie Lou, a writer based in southeast London

who is dedicated to helping people

to improve their emotional and relationship literacy.

Let's kick this off.

Something that hasn't changed since my days have been single is that there are people out there who do have a disposition for making insensitive remarks and asking inappropriate questions of singles.

When I used to go into work on a Monday, I would near have to

brace myself for an onslaught of questions poking and prodding into my private life,

asking if I'd hooked up with somebody how many dates I'd been

on did I get laid who I've been out with had I been prowl industries looking for

a husband never occurred to anybody that actually I might just be enjoying my weekend I might be

hanging out my friends and family I could have been watching 10 back-to-back episodes of

24 for all they know no I had to be like giving them the down low and everything that's

going on in my life. Yet funny enough,

those same people were not giving up loads of information about theirs or allowing people to ask them all sorts of questions.

And so I did turn around to my boss at the time and say,

listen, I don't ask you about whether you bunks your wife at the weekend, and

I don't, you know, sort of imply or states that you've got problems in your

marriage because, you know, that's what happens to all married people so if you don't mind can you stop poking around and that was the end of that and actually I did find that instead of sitting there and smiling on the outside and suffering on the inside

or obligating myself to answer these questions or to pretend that some of these remarks

were okay that it was actually more than okay for me to call people out and stuff

...