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2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

Ep. 65 | 2 Bears 1 Cave w/ Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

2 Bears 1 Cave

Society & Culture, Comedy

4.823.2K Ratings

🗓️ 25 January 2021

⏱️ 99 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Are you ready for the Big Game on February 7th?! Come hang out with the bears and special guest Warren Sapp as they watch both teams face off in the final game of the season. Get tickets at https://livestream.ymhstudios.com SPONSORS: - Go to https://Feetures.com/CAVE to get $10 off your first pair! - Get 10% off your first 3 months at https://Ritual.com/BEARS - Head to https://Policygenius.com right now to get started. When it comes to insurance, it’s nice to get it right. - Go to https://vuoriclothing.com/bears and get 20% off your first purchase plus free shipping on U.S. orders over $75 - Go to https://GetSuperLeaf.com/BEARS and enter code BEARS for 20% off - Download the DraftKings app NOW and use promo code BEARS to enter the free FIFTY-FIVE MILLION DOLLAR Super Bowl prediction challenge! Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer start off this episode by discussing their upcoming 2 Bears, 1 Sapp "Big Game" live show with NFL Hall of Famer Warren Sapp. They also discuss things normal, sober people do, surfing in Hawaii, the "Nightstalker" Richard Ramirez, Japanese war crimes during World War II, Armie Hammer's leaked DMs, and Vice President Kamala Harris' sorority affiliation.

Transcript

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0:00.0

By the way, her tongue didn't stick all the way out of her mouth. Did I ever tell you that?

0:02.5

No. Yeah.

0:03.5

Her tongue was connected at the bottom, so she couldn't get it out of her mouth. So she'd get it like this.

0:08.2

How do you normally kiss? With my tongue out of my mouth like, eh...

0:11.3

That's how you kiss? Yeah. I go into the mouth.

0:13.6

And then what do you do with it? I fucking back it back and forth. Show me. I'm paying it.

0:19.0

Like that? Yeah, I go... I like the tongue in the mouth. I like tongue in the mouth.

0:23.2

Are you like the tongue in the mouth? Oh, I like big fat tongue in the mouth. 100%

0:30.1

So, uh, I used to wear headphones all the time. And then you have guests and like on your mom's

0:35.4

house, we're always playing clips. So I'd be like, yeah. Hey, I throw on your headphones and you

0:39.2

know that like some guests would be like, oh, I'm good. I'm like, well, you won't be able to hear it.

0:43.6

And then they're like, okay, and they put it on and they'll like hold it like this like to their ear.

0:48.6

And then they go down. I go, hey, man, that's not the last clip. Like, there's more clips coming.

0:53.1

And he's like, and then they'll put it on for a second. He'll be like, yeah, I saw. I'm like,

0:56.2

just put them on. What's the fucking problem? Do you want to hear the dumbest thing I've ever done?

1:00.2

What? I'm doing, uh, I honestly, I hate to say it now because I didn't know it then, but I was

1:05.1

doing Fox News for to promote some travel. You didn't know you were doing it? Why didn't I

1:09.3

didn't know what it was? I mean, like, like now you say Fox News and I was like, oh, for real?

1:13.5

Did you wear a hood? And, but, uh, but I was doing Fox. And it was the first time they ever sprinkled

1:18.9

my hair in, you know, lady goes, hey, we're just breaking your hair in and I was like, huh? She

1:23.4

goes, I do it to what's the guy Glenn back? She goes, I do it to Glenn back. Looks good. Trust me,

1:27.5

you have some holes in your hair. It'll fill it out. So I was like, sure, she did it. And I was so

...

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