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Let’s Get Vulnerable: Relationship and Dating Advice

EP 640: How Anxious Attachment Sabotages Every Stage of a Relationship (And What to Do About It)

Let’s Get Vulnerable: Relationship and Dating Advice

Dr. Morgan Anderson

Mental Health, Education, Relationships, Society & Culture, Health & Fitness, Self-improvement

4.7 • 1.2K Ratings

🗓️ 6 April 2026

⏱️ 66 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Y'all, buckle up because this one might be the episode you've been waiting for without even knowing it.

I'm kicking off a brand new series on relationship development, and we're starting with something I think is going to give you so many aha moments: how your attachment style shows up at every single stage of a relationship, from the butterflies of date one all the way to year seven and beyond. In this episode, we're diving deep into anxious attachment specifically, the hypervigilance, the reassurance-seeking, the self-abandonment, the exhaustion of white-knuckling your way through a relationship and I'm breaking down exactly what's happening in your nervous system at each stage and why. Girl, this is the stuff no one ever taught us, and it changes everything.

Inside the Episode:

  • Merging, Individuation, and Interdependence
  • How Anxious Attachment Shows Up Stage by Stage
  • Your Attachment Style Is Not Who You Are

If you're listening to this and thinking this is me and I'm ready to actually change it, I want you to know that's exactly what we do inside my Private 1:1 Coaching Intensive. We go deep on healing your attachment style, rebuilding your identity, and helping you finally show up as the secure, magnetic woman you already are.

Apply here 👉 www.drmorgancoaching.co/esl-breakthrough

🔗 Additional Episode Links:


Transcript

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0:00.0

Welcome to the Let's Get Vulnerable podcast. I'm your host, Dr. Morgan Anderson, psychologist, relationship coach, attachment theory expert, creator of the ESL relationship method, author of Love Magnet and Athletic Wear Connoisseur. My mission is to help you raise yourself worth, have great relationships, and step confidently into the next level of your life.

0:22.3

Each week, two episodes will air featuring expert advice, live coaching, and tips, showing you

0:28.4

exactly how to improve your life and attract a healthy relationship. You deserve to feel empowered,

0:34.8

secure, and love. Buckle up and let's get vulnerable.

0:41.9

Welcome to the Let's Get Vulnerable podcast.

0:45.0

I am your host, Dr. Morgan, clinical psychologist, attachment style expert.

0:50.1

I have a really, really juicy new series coming out for you. We are going to be discussing

0:56.8

relationship development. So at every single stage of how a relationship develops from when you

1:05.3

just meet the person to two years in, seven years plus, all the stages of development. And we're going to look at

1:14.4

how your attachment style impacts your ability to master the challenges of every stage. So we'll be

1:23.5

looking at anxious attachment, avoidant attachment, disorganized attachment, and of course,

1:28.9

secure attachment, and how each of these styles shapes you as you're moving through

1:35.8

relationship development. So I'm very excited about this series. I know you're going to get a lot

1:42.2

of value out of this. And I imagine this will be one

1:45.2

that you'll be sending to your friends because there'll be a lot of aha moments and understanding

1:51.4

why you do what you do in relationships. I'm really excited about this. Let's dive in. We're going to

1:58.7

start out with looking at these developmental

2:02.5

models, kind of understanding the relationship stages, and then we'll talk about how anxious

2:09.0

attachment shows up in those stages. Let's go. In the same way that children move through predictable developmental stages, relationships also move through stages.

2:22.0

And just like kids can get stuck at a developmental stage, if the environment doesn't support healthy growth, couples can also get stuck at certain stages.

2:39.1

And this is not pathology. This is developmental science. This is backed up. And there are a number of different theories that we can look at to

2:47.1

understand relationship development, possibly one of the most important concepts that we can

...

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