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2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

Ep. 36 | 2 Bears 1 Cave w/ Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

2 Bears 1 Cave

Society & Culture, Comedy

4.823.2K Ratings

🗓️ 29 June 2020

⏱️ 61 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer start off this episode of 2 Bears, 1 Cave by discussing why they would make a good couple, and Bert pitches a new show idea. They give Nikki Glaser a call to run the idea by her. Bert also reveals how much Kool-Aid he consumes in a day. The bears also taste test various sodas, talk about their favorite sneakers, and explore new religions.

Transcript

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0:30.0

Everyone's gonna make it a hundred percent

0:35.5

Everyone does say I say night in your own I know like everyone said and you're the first person to correct me

0:41.0

I'm fucking I'm 42 and

0:48.4

Your birthday's coming up not that long from now November yeah, you'll be 40

0:54.0

Can I I want a surprise I want a surprise party. Oh you're gonna be 48

0:58.1

Yeah, I don't want to be you don't want to be what the ends turn at 50 in August

1:05.3

So you're only two years apart? Yeah, you don't talk about this fucking 50-year-old. Oh

1:10.2

You haven't fucked her yet. I know but I feel like I'm already there. She just is so like

1:15.2

Married in her ways of how it should go how should it go just like

1:21.0

You know we had that conversation do we have a conversation about sucking dick? Yeah, yeah, cuz you you if I if I make quote you

1:27.4

You said now that woman was at a second dick

1:30.5

Yeah, yeah, I think a mother quote was the me two movement release fucked up blow jobs. Yeah, the

1:38.9

But she

1:40.4

We talked about blow job I said I braised her cuz I was like hey, just you know

1:44.5

We know where I kind of let you up about dick sucking. She's a cattle care and then I she said now that this is a

1:51.9

Such a good workaround. She's like you're dick too big and I was like okay

1:58.4

She's like it it hurts my jaw to do it that long and I was like well

2:03.2

What if you just did it a little bit she goes I can do it for a little bit

2:05.1

I was like yeah do a little bit and then get me ready and then let's have sex so that's our new thing

2:09.7

Yeah, so it worked out this this podcast is saving lives saving marriages dude. That's a fucking home, right?

2:15.3

It's a fuck fuck. Yeah, I love a little bit of a blow job

2:18.1

I'll tell you what I my dream when I was a kid when I was in like college. I would tell my girlfriend at the time

...

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