Ep. 343: Nat Lue on Boundaries and the Dark Side (!) of People-Pleasing
Unperform with Tiffany Han (formerly Raise Your Hand Say Yes)
Tiffany Han
4.7 • 525 Ratings
🗓️ 17 November 2020
⏱️ 72 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
I loved talking with Natalie Lue for this week's vintage episode and we covered so much ground, including: habits (and relationships!) that aren't serving you, how to step beyond those well-worn patterns, drama and our addiction to it, and how people-pleasing is actually a manipulation (SAY WHAT?!).
We also covered identities that don't serve us, letting other people dim our light, and why having emotional baggage doesn't mean anything other than that we're human.
Natalie blew my mind in this episode and I think you'll love it!
What She Said:
"Patterns happen when we're living unconsciously, and that means we’re not living who we are."
"We're so used to giving ourselves a hard time that we often chase things that deep down we don't want."
"Sometimes we want something so badly it feels like a need but it isn't."
"People pleasing masks a hidden agenda... Being honest about what our reasons are could be a real game-changer."
"Adulthood is about unlearning all of the harmful and unproductive stuff that we pick up along the way."
"We have to take the journey and go through whatever we need to experience to learn what we need to learn."
Those Timestamps:
04:04 - Recognizing and letting go of old identities, habits, emotional baggage
13:44 - Taming your inner critic and silencing the negativity
19:19 - How to stop people-pleasing and start being/doing you
24:50 - Living with intention, Getting out of that autopilot life
31:06 - The manipulative power of people-pleasing
42:43 - Ways to halt the habit of being hard on yourself
57:45 - Who's deciding what you're capable of? (Updated You vs. Outdated You)
1:00:05 - Why the journey and the experience matters
Show Notes:
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Welcome back to raise your hands say yes with Tiffany Hahn, a podcast all about helping you have a |
| 0:05.2 | life that feels as good on the inside as it looks on the outside. Find out more and dive deep into |
| 0:10.2 | the archives at Tiffany Hahn.com and make sure you're following me over on Instagram at the Tiffany |
| 0:15.1 | Han. And if you're ready to get started toward that life you're craving, go to Tiffanyhan.com |
| 0:19.9 | slash quiz to take your free agency archetypes quiz. |
| 0:23.8 | You're going to find out why you're getting stuck, where you're giving away your power, and how to move forward without having to rewrite your entire life. |
| 0:32.3 | Now onto the show. |
| 0:34.6 | Hey everyone, it's Tiffany. Welcome back to raise your hands. Say yes. As you probably know by now, |
| 0:40.6 | I am in the middle of a podcasting break. Who knows what I'm doing now? Maybe I'm making a pie or |
| 0:46.3 | something delightful and delicious. But what I'm doing during this break is instead of just |
| 0:52.3 | going dark with the show, I wanted to reach |
| 0:55.1 | into the archives and bring back episodes that are either ones that I am always recommending |
| 1:02.8 | to people and or it's always both. I am consistently hearing from people as the episodes that |
| 1:10.3 | stopped them in their tracks and really |
| 1:13.2 | helped them shift their perspective, shift how they showed up, and or shifted something they |
| 1:19.9 | were doing. And I will tell y'all, this episode with Natalie Liu is one of my favorite |
| 1:27.0 | conversations that I've ever had from the podcast. Some of y'all might remember Natalie Lou is one of my favorite conversations that I've ever had from the podcast. Some of y'all |
| 1:30.9 | might remember Natalie from earlier this summer when we talked about COVID and lockdown and |
| 1:39.6 | boundaries and how we take care of ourselves, how we show up for ourselves. But this episode, this conversation |
| 1:45.5 | that I'm bringing you, is actually from 2019, from mid-2019. And it's all about boundaries, |
| 1:53.5 | emotions, feeling your feelings. And my favorite takeaway from this episode was about the |
| 1:59.9 | dark side, what, of people pleasing. |
... |
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