Ep #341: Your Brilliant Nervous System: Countdown to End Emotional Outsourcing

Feminist Wellness

Béa Victoria Albina

Lifecoaching, Mental Health, Holistic, Feminist, Self-improvement, Fatigue, Alternative Health, Feelingstuckinlife, Spirituality, Healthygut, Health & Fitness, Mindbodyconnection, Guthealth, Connectionsbetweenthoughtsandhealth, Education, Ibs, Gutmicrobiome, Feminism

4.9 • 988 Ratings

🗓️ 28 August 2025

⏱️ 33 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

#341: If you've ever found yourself constantly scanning other people's faces for approval, shapeshifting to keep the peace, or feeling completely disconnected from what you actually want, this episode is for you. You might call this people-pleasing or being too sensitive, but something much more profound is going on here: you’re living with emotional outsourcing.

Tune in this week as I explain how emotional outsourcing gets stored in your body as a procedural memory - not just a thought you can talk yourself out of. You'll learn how this adaptation develops early, gets reinforced by cultural systems, and shows up in your body.

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://beatrizalbina.com/341

Mentioned in this episode:

EEO Pre-Sale

End Emotional Outsourcing Pre-Sale Has Begun!

For years, we've been gathering here on Feminist Wellness, unpacking the tangled thought habits that come from living through the lens of codependent, perfectionist, and people-pleasing conditioning. You've shared your stories, your wins, your heartbreaks, and your breakthroughs with me, and I have held each and every one close to my heart. Well, all of those conversations, all that healing, all that nerdy science, it's come together in my new book, End Emotional Outsourcing: How to Overcome Your Codependent, Perfectionist, and People-Pleasing Habits. This book is your practical, science-backed, loving guide to finally stop handing your emotional life over to other people and stop taking theirs on for them. Pre-order yours today: https://feminist-wellness.captivate.fm/book

EEO Pre-Sale

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hey, QD, before we get into today's episode, are you someone who wants to feel wholeworthy
0:04.6	and enough in your bones, not just your brain? If so, I'll invite you to be a boundary setter,
0:11.6	be a nervous system healer, be a reader, be a part of the revolution. And emotional outsourcing
0:17.9	is my new book out soon on September 30th. Pre-order it now at
0:22.5	Beatriceal Albina.
0:47.7	I'll show you how to get unstuck, drop the anxiety, perfectionism, and codependency, so you can live from your beautiful heart. Welcome, my love.
0:55.7	Let's get started. Hello, hello, my love. I hope this finds you doing so well. Today, I'm
1:05.8	resharing one of our foundational episodes, Emotional Outsourcing 101.
1:14.6	This is where I lay out the heart of what emotional outsourcing really is.
1:19.1	That habit of outsourcing our emotional needs, validation, belonging,
1:21.8	safety, and sense of worth to other people.
1:27.4	I coined this term because the old language of codependency, perfectionism, people-placing, it felt so moralizing,
1:30.0	so pathologizing, so not kind. And I wanted a framework rooted in love, compassion,
1:37.0	and nervous system science, instead of shame, one that calls us into understanding around the
1:43.5	impact of systems of oppression, instead of just
1:46.6	leaving us feeling like, well, I guess I'm just busted and broken and defective. That sounds
1:53.2	permanent, right? In this episode, I explained how emotional outsourcing gets stored in the body
1:58.5	as procedural memory, that it isn't just a thought
2:01.5	you can talk yourself out of. It's a complex survival code etched into your nervous system that
2:07.2	runs on autopilot. It shows up in the way your muscles tense, the way your gut reacts,
2:12.0	the way your voice catches before you speak up. It shows up in the ways we think about ourselves and the world,
2:19.8	our roles, and our place in this whole human experience. If you've ever wondered why you
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