Did I Make It All Up or Am I Actually Hurt?: The Book Series #5

Feminist Wellness

Béa Victoria Albina

Lifecoaching, Mental Health, Holistic, Feminist, Self-improvement, Fatigue, Alternative Health, Feelingstuckinlife, Spirituality, Healthygut, Health & Fitness, Mindbodyconnection, Guthealth, Connectionsbetweenthoughtsandhealth, Education, Ibs, Gutmicrobiome, Feminism

4.9 • 988 Ratings

🗓️ 2 September 2025

⏱️ 9 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

You can spot when someone's being lousy to other people from 3 miles away. You're like an emotional bloodhound who knows when your friend is lying, when your coworker is stressed, when your mom is about to lose it. But when someone hurts you, you suddenly need a jury of 12 of your peers to confirm that what just happened was actually messed up and maybe it's okay for you to be hurt.

This habit of emotional outsourcing at its most painful means you're literally giving away your right to trust your own experience and handing it over to the person who hurt you, random friends, or the internet.

This is such a crucial part of what I teach in my new book, End Emotional Outsourcing. In the book, you'll learn about the nervous system science behind why you doubt yourself, plus, of course, somatic body-based practices to help you reconnect with your body's wisdom.

Pre-order the book now at https://beatrizalbina.com/book/ and get beautiful bonuses to begin this work today.

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0	This is feminist wellness, and I'm your host, nurse practitioner, somatics, and nervous system nerd, and life coach, Bea Victoria Albina.
0:18.3	I'll show you how to get unstuck, drop the anxiety, perfectionism, and
0:21.8	codependency so you can live from your beautiful heart. Welcome, my love. Let's get started.
0:29.9	Here's something wild. You can spot when someone's being lousy to other people from three
0:35.4	miles away. You are like an emotional bloodhound. You know when
0:39.7	your friend is lying, when your co-worker is stressed, when your mom is about to lose it. But when
0:45.6	someone hurts you, you suddenly need a jury of 12 of your peers to confirm that, yes, what just
0:52.9	happened was actually messed up and maybe,
0:56.7	just maybe, it's okay for you to be hurt. You know that thing you do when someone hurts your
1:02.1	feeling and your first thought isn't out of that hurt? It's, wait, did that actually happen?
1:08.9	Oh, am I being too sensitive again? Okay, maybe I just misunderstood. Maybe they're having a lousy day. Like, before you even let yourself feel the hurt, you're already questioning whether you have the right to feel it. You've become a detective investigating your own pain instead of experiencing it, and somehow you're always the
1:28.2	unreliable witness. I call this preemptive gaslighting, and it's one of the inadvertently
1:34.3	cruelest things we do to ourselves. I had a client tell me this story that just, it still hurts
1:40.3	my heart. She said her partner made a truly cruel comment about her weight in front of
1:45.8	their friend. And instead of being mad or feeling hurt, her first thought was, was that actually mean?
1:54.4	Followed by maybe I'm being dramatic. Followed by maybe he didn't mean it that way.
2:03.1	Which, like, yeah, it's nice to be kind.
2:05.1	It's beautiful to give people the grace.
2:06.4	But here's the problem.
2:09.5	Instead of honoring her feelings, being present to them,
2:11.4	allowing herself to have them,
2:14.3	she spent the next three days analyzing the comment like it was evidence in a true crime murder case
	...

Please login to see the full transcript.

Previous episode | Next episode

Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from Béa Victoria Albina, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.

Generated transcripts are the property of Béa Victoria Albina and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.