You're Not Loving Them, You're Managing Them: The Book Series #4

Feminist Wellness

Béa Victoria Albina

Lifecoaching, Mental Health, Holistic, Feminist, Self-improvement, Fatigue, Alternative Health, Feelingstuckinlife, Spirituality, Healthygut, Health & Fitness, Mindbodyconnection, Guthealth, Connectionsbetweenthoughtsandhealth, Education, Ibs, Gutmicrobiome, Feminism

4.9 • 988 Ratings

🗓️ 26 August 2025

⏱️ 13 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Your value isn't in your productivity. That uncomfortable feeling when you stop moving, stop doing, stop managing everyone else's life? That's not laziness talking. It's the voice of a nervous system that learned early on that being needed equals being safe.

Your actual people want you to rest. They want you to have needs, wants, preferences. They want to take care of you sometimes too. And all of this is exactly what I break down in my new book, End Emotional Outsourcing.

Pre-order the book now at https://beatrizalbina.com/book/ and get beautiful bonuses to begin this work today.

Transcript

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0:00.0	This is feminist wellness, and I'm your host, nurse practitioner, somatics, and nervous system nerd, and life coach, Bea Victoria Albina.
0:18.3	I'll show you how to get unstuck, drop the anxiety, perfectionism, and
0:21.8	codependency so you can live from your beautiful heart. Welcome, my love. Let's get started.
0:30.0	Okay, real talk. Are you listening while doing three other things? Like, are you making dinner
0:34.8	and responding to texts and mentally planning tomorrow's
0:37.9	schedule? Okay. I see you. You know what's wild? I bet if I asked you to stop doing all those
0:44.7	things and just sit still for five minutes, I'm going to guess, I don't know for sure, but I'm
0:51.1	going to guess that you might begin to have a mini panic attack.
0:55.5	Because if you're anything like me and the thousands of women I've worked with, then somewhere
1:01.9	along the way, you learned that your value is in your productivity, that love looks like
1:07.7	doing everything for everyone else, that you better look busy just because...
1:14.3	Because you should be busy.
1:16.3	That's why you should look busy because you're just...
1:18.5	Just believe, you should be busy.
1:20.4	That like sitting is somehow dangerous.
1:22.2	Resting is...
1:23.5	Wait, what?
1:24.8	What?
1:25.7	I had a client tell me last week that she didn't know how to just be.
1:31.1	She said, like, if I'm not useful, if I'm not taking care of something or someone, I feel like I'm wasting
1:35.6	space, I'm going to get in trouble. But like I'm 47, who am I going to get in trouble with?
1:41.7	Oof, Deborah, right in the hearts, you know? I mean, calling us all
	...

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