Ep #336: Why We're Lonely: Unpacking Modern Friendship Dynamics with Anna Goldfarb

Feminist Wellness

Béa Victoria Albina

Lifecoaching, Mental Health, Holistic, Feminist, Self-improvement, Fatigue, Alternative Health, Feelingstuckinlife, Spirituality, Healthygut, Health & Fitness, Mindbodyconnection, Guthealth, Connectionsbetweenthoughtsandhealth, Education, Ibs, Gutmicrobiome, Feminism

4.9 • 988 Ratings

🗓️ 24 July 2025

⏱️ 42 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

#336: Modern friendship isn't what it used to be. We're navigating a world where identity is more complex, where we have unlimited choice in who we befriend, and where the burden of maintaining connections falls entirely on our individual shoulders.

Friendship expert, speaker, journalist, and author of Modern Friendship: How to Nurture Our Most Valued Connections, Anna Goldfarb, also known as "The Friendship Explainer," reveals that this shift has created both unprecedented freedom and unexpected challenges in how we connect with others.

In this conversation, Anna and I examine why so many of us feel lonely despite having full contact lists, and how our codependent and people-pleasing patterns can actually sabotage the authentic connections we crave. Anna shares her research on the five core reasons people make friends and offers a framework for building deeper connections.

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://beatrizalbina.com/336

Mentioned in this episode:

Download Your Free Guide to Conversational Consent!

Ever find yourself holding space you didn’t mean to offer... or unloading your feelings without being sure the other person’s actually available? This Free Guide to Conversational Consent gives you clear, kind language to check in before diving into venting, advice, emotional processing, or big feels. You’ll learn how to ask for what you want clearly, how to make sure the other person’s a true yes, and how to honor both of you in the conversation. It’s about mutual care, real respect, and dramatically reducing the chance of quiet simmering resentment later. Consent in conversation is love. It’s clarity. It works. Click here to grab it: https://feminist-wellness.captivate.fm/conversational-consent-podcast

Conversational Consent Guide

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0	Hey, before we get started, if you're someone who says yes when you really mean, um, maybe,
0:07.5	or if you don't know how to say, hey, can I share something kind of heavy without feeling super
0:11.9	awkward, then pleased. Go grab my free guide to conversational consent. It's bite-sized,
0:18.4	but potent. And it'll help you check in with your people and with yourself
0:22.2	before diving in deep. Because you've got to make sure your nervous system's on board so you can
0:27.0	really show up for your people and yourself. Find it at Beatricealbino.com slash consent. And let's
0:34.6	make everyday conversations more respectful, real, and consensual.
0:49.7	This is feminist wellness, and I'm your host, nurse practitioner, somatics, and nervous system nerd, and life coach, Bea Victoria Albina.
0:58.3	I'll show you how to get unstuck, drop the anxiety, perfectionism, and codependency so you can live from your beautiful heart.
1:05.5	Welcome, my love. Let's get started.
1:10.3	Hello, hello, my love. I hope this finds you doing so well. We have a really
1:16.6	fun guest on the show today, a woman whose work is really fantastic. I just read her book,
1:23.1	Modern Friendship, and just had to have her on. I'm going to read her like very official bio for you.
1:29.3	Called The Friendship Explaner, Anna Goldfarb's reporting on friendships has appeared in the New York Times,
1:34.8	The Atlantic, Time, Vox, and more. Her book, Modern Friendship, How to nurture our most valued
1:40.2	connections, explores the challenges of navigating adult friendships in a hyperfluid world.
1:45.0	She also publishes Friendship Explained, a substack newsletter that explains the mechanics of friendship through a pop culture lens. And I am so thrilled for her to be here to talk to us.
1:56.2	Friendship can be a really challenging thing in our world When we have been really deep in our emotional
2:02.6	outsourcing, our codependent, perfectionist, and people-pleasing habits, it can feel like sticky
2:08.7	and confusing. We can not understand how to friend. And if that's landing, I think you know exactly
2:15.8	what I mean of like, how much should I do? How much should I reach out? How much should I expect? I don't want to be too needy. Like there's a lot of anxiety and ajeda and unks that can come up for a lot of us around friendship. And a lot of us are feeling quite lonely these days, particularly in this
2:37.6	moment in COVID, in this moment politically, a lot of us are experiencing a lot of loneliness.
	...

Please login to see the full transcript.

Previous episode | Next episode

Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from Béa Victoria Albina, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.

Generated transcripts are the property of Béa Victoria Albina and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.