Ep #265: When Emotional Outsourcing Becomes a Habit in Relationship
Feminist Wellness
Béa Victoria Albina
4.9 • 988 Ratings
🗓️ 14 March 2024
⏱️ 38 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
#265: Something I hear quite often from folks is that while they feel really solid in their independence when they’re alone, their emotional outsourcing tendencies seem to suddenly get amplified as soon as they're in relationship, especially romantic relationship. Why does this happen?
Join me this week as I explore the crossfire between our independence and our almost desperate need to connect with and please others. I'll share some of the psychological factors at play that lead to a heightened sense of codependence and people-pleasing inside relationships and my favorite remedies for stepping out of the shadow of old habits and into the light of self-awareness.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://victoriaalbina.com/265
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | This is feminist wellness and I'm your host nurse practitioner functional medicine expert and life coach Victoria Albina. |
| 0:15.0 | I'll show you how to get unstuck, drop the anxiety, perfectionism and codependency so you can live from your beautiful heart. |
| 0:22.0 | Welcome, my love. let's get started. |
| 0:28.8 | Hello hello my love, I hope this finds you doing so well. The sun is out after many days of rain the birds are chirping |
| 0:38.7 | little daffodils and crocususes are coming up through the ground and I'm just so happy. I'm just thinking forward to all the fun activities we have planned with friends this spring and fall and big changes coming around the |
| 0:55.6 | bend for our family and yeah I'm just really excited about all of the things. |
| 1:01.2 | I'm offering anchored again after what an eight month hiatus. I took time |
| 1:06.4 | off to write the book and some family stuff and it just feels so good to talk to people about Ankered again and hear their excitement. |
| 1:17.0 | We don't start for a month in the program's little over halfful. |
| 1:20.0 | And that's really exciting and it's exciting that people are excited to do this work. |
| 1:25.0 | You know, Ancred is the culmination of the last 20 years of my studies and I just love sharing it with folks. |
| 1:32.0 | Yeah, so those are the exciting things in my life that are top of mind right now. |
| 1:38.0 | So this week's podcast is not about Daffodels. |
| 1:41.0 | So that would be an interesting turn of events for feminist wellness. Instead, we're talking about, well, first of all, I got several emails asking me to talk about this topic when I asked y'all over New Year's what do you want me to talk about? |
| 1:54.6 | And I hear this a lot both in Anckered and in folks who are looking to join Anckered when I ask them, |
| 2:00.5 | why do you want to do this work? It goes something like this. When I'm rolling solo, I'm not |
| 2:06.7 | dating anyone, I feel really solid in my independence. You know, I don't really do that cod dependent |
| 2:13.6 | perfectionist people pleasing dance with anyone right? I'm hanging with my crew I do |
| 2:17.8 | my self-care I stand in my strength that whole like do they like me voice in my head when I'm on my own it's more of a whisper |
| 2:26.7 | Versus like in the rest of my life when it's a scream like I feel solid in me when I'm alone and then I start dating someone. |
| 2:35.4 | Suddenly like all those old patterns that I thought I'd outgrown are back with a vengeance. |
| 2:41.0 | Like Gremlots, hungry for for I mean of course pizza after dark but also |
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