I'm Natalie Lou and you're listening to the baggage reclaim sessions.

Hello hello.

How are you doing?

A very quick heads up because I know that some of you are very religious about listening to the podcast and so if I don't say it, then I'm going to get a load of messages and emails next week. I am going to take a couple of weeks break from the podcast. I am a little bit pooped and rather than waiting until I'm really, really

tired, I'm going to have my break now.

And so it was a couple of weeks break just to really rest and reboot to catch up with myself.

It's been a pretty hectic couple of months in a good way, like some really exciting things have happened more on that

another time but now is a time for me to to slow down a bit before we get into the

next stretch of episodes before the summer break. So I will be back on June 4th, 2021.

Okay, on with today's topic.

Behind our habits are, for instance, settling for less.

Not having boundaries when we need to, not questioning something when we need to, not flag in a concern, not clarifying things,

not expressing our feelings, not being honest about who we are and what we need and want is an underlying fear

that whatever it is makes us needy and we don't want to be seen in that way. And it is that same fear, concern, and yeah, belief that maybe we are needy or that it could look needy that we,

for instance, get involved with emotionally unavailable people in unavailable relationships,

or we are at best taken advantage of, or at worst abused in a shady relationship.

We settle for less, for instance, at work.

We don't maybe expect much of family and friends.

We're always worrying about being an inconvenience, a burden. Hence maybe why we don't ask for help

or admit that we're struggling. We engage in habits like people pleasing, perfectionism, overthinking, overgiving and over responsibility,

as a backdoor route to trying to meet our needs while at the same time trying to act as if we don't actually have the needs that we do.

We have this fear of being needy, but also in some instances,

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