I'm Natalie Lou and you're listening to the baggage reclaim sessions.

Hello hello.

How are you doing?

A quick heads up before I get into today's topic. Next Wednesday, that's May 19th, 2021, in case you happen to be listening in the future. I am teaching a free masterclass called

yes is not the key to thriving at work and in this hour-long class which includes a quick

Q&A as well I will be sharing seven

super common work habits that actually hurt your career and your well-being and

there are things where you're going to go wait wait what? Whoa, because there's stuff that we do on the daily that we think is like, oh, all part of being a good worker, a good business owner that are actually getting in the way of us having healthy work boundaries.

You can find out more at baggage reclaim.k.k.k.

And make sure that even if you can't actually join me live that you sign up anyway

because then you'll get access to the replay which will be available for a few days afterwards.

Okay on with today's topic.

Something that we can find pretty confusing

is when we're trying to do something nice for someone or we're for instance

attempting to to make an amends to to clear the air and the person doesn't really respond to it at all or maybe even

reacts badly possibly accusing us of not listening or of overstepping boundaries. We'll be like scratching our

head. Let me illustrate with these two rather common scenarios. A loved one's birthday is coming up and maybe they specifically said

that they don't want people to do gifts or maybe after we've said that we're going

to give them a particular thing, they said, no thanks.

Either way, we plow ahead anyway.

And then when they don't seem particularly excited, pleased or grateful, we feel wounded by their response.

If they seem upset about us ignoring what they said, we feel unappreciated and like they're

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