This is feminist wellness and I'm your host nurse practitioner functional medicine

expert and life coach Victoria Albina. I'll be full heart. Welcome my love let's get started.

Hello hello my love I hope this finds you doing so well. This week we're going to be talking about too often

confused words and frameworks for living and how we tend to relate to them as

externalizers as folks with with coddependent perfectionist and people-pleasing thought habits, who tend to source our self-worth externally, from other people, places, and things.

And I'll be doing what I love to do, bringing both a cognitive or thought-work lens and a somatic

or body-based lens to the conversation.

And our topic, these two confused words, is the difference between being nice and being kind,

something I myself confused for so many years and see my clients in Anker, my six-month program confusing frequently.

And my beauty, this matters. Language always matters because it's what gives shape and

meaning to our lived experience.

So we'll be talking about how we think about these concepts

in terms of our own behavior

and what we expect or demand from others

often from our own habit of codipendent people-pleasing and perfectionist thinking.

So let's start, as we are want to do on feminist wellness, with throwing the patriarchy the whole way under the bus.

So, humans socialized as women in particular are trained to be nice, to put others, and their wants and needs ahead of our own, to self-sacrifice, to be the martyr, the savior, the

saint, the fixer, which we talked about in episode 71.

There is also a very specific story about what nice looks like that often gets conflated with being polite, with good manners, in air quotes quotes that comes from white settler

colonialism and seeks to continue to erase cultural practices outside that norm by

calling them not nice practices like eating with your hands, which is perfectly normal

and so much of the world, and this is done as part of a push towards more and more whiteness

...