Ep. 121 Asexuality, Kinks, and Sensuality with Ev’Yan Whitney
Recovering From Reality
Dear Media, Alexis Haines
4.8 • 2.1K Ratings
🗓️ 22 November 2021
⏱️ 54 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
In today’s episode I’m joined by Ev’Yan Whitney—a sexuality doula, writer, facilitator, and sensualist.
We discuss…
- What led Ev’Yan to the work they are doing now—origins in purity culture, childhood sexual exploration, and their journey to sexual healing and liberation
- How the same messaging can be received in both a toxically sex positive household and in homes where sexuality isn’t explored and encouraged
- Unpacking asexuality as an identity and common pieces of misinformation
- What happens when you take away the pressure of what sexuality and sex ’should’ look and feel like
- Balancing different sexual wants, needs, and libidos in relationships
- How to be intimate with partners without sexual intercourse
- The importance of not saying yes to sex that you’d rather say no to
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Produced by Dear Media
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | The following podcast is a deer media production. |
| 0:07.5 | Hey, this is Alexis Haines and welcome to Recovering from Reality, |
| 0:11.6 | where I illuminate the messy and magical path of coming home to yourself. |
| 0:16.1 | Whether you're on the road to recovery, seeking self-care techniques for surviving the |
| 0:20.5 | capitalist machine, or just need a moment to remember that you're not alone in your loneliness, |
| 0:26.2 | we're serving up the ultimate truth. Your challenges don't define you, how you deal with them does. |
| 0:33.0 | So, are you ready to recover from reality? |
| 0:40.0 | Labels flatness, you know, I mean they help us create community, they help us find community, |
| 0:44.6 | but they also flatness. I believe that we all contain multitudes, |
| 0:49.0 | and as much as it's great for me to claim a term like asexual or queer or non-binary, |
| 0:58.0 | it doesn't really get to the root of who I am, and it doesn't really take into account |
| 1:03.2 | like the flexibility, the mutability of everything that I am. |
| 1:09.6 | That was a quick clip from this week's episode with Avion Whitney. You guys were diving into sex |
| 1:14.9 | again, and you're like, why are we talking about sex again, Alexus? Because it's important, |
| 1:19.6 | because healing our sexual trauma, healing our beliefs around sex, and having good sex, |
| 1:26.8 | fucking matters you guys, it does. And I ask you to question anything that tells you that it's |
| 1:40.7 | wrong or dirty to think that or that it doesn't really matter or that you're not worthy of good |
| 1:48.7 | quality, amazing sex. And I know that for me, I've said on the podcast before like the final |
| 1:57.6 | piece of me healing my sexual abuse was reclaiming my sexuality. And while that's so true, |
| 2:05.4 | the truth is that like I am still not done unpacking and healing, right? My beliefs around sex. |
| 2:15.3 | Avion is a sexuality doula, which I think is so interesting. I've never heard that term before, |
| 2:21.6 | probably because she coined it. And as a fellow doula, I am so here for that. I think that it is |
... |
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