2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer are back in Austin and we try to figure out if Bert is the most self absorbed person Tom knows. Is he a lot? Bert tries to convince Enny to let him smoke cigars in his house and Bert reveals how he incentivized his tour bus to motivate his weight loss. He describes his day working out with Joe Rogan at the Onnit gym, and the bears make Nadav compare and contrast their stand up shows. Bert admits he likes talking more than he likes listening and Tom tells him about shooting with Unk Shine. The bears discuss a great parody of the JRE they watched, as well as the Josh Robert Thompson impression of Morgan Freeman, which makes Bert attempt a couple impressions for Tom, and Bert fantasizes about his retirement which turns into one of the hardest laughs had on the show.