Ep. 108 | 2 Bears 1 Cave w/ Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

2 Bears 1 Cave

Society & Culture, Comedy

4.8 • 23.2K Ratings

🗓️ 22 November 2021

⏱️ 83 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

CHICAGO! Come see Tom live on his birthday, April 16! Presale starts this Wednesday at 10am local time. Get tickets at https://www.ticketmaster.com/event/04005AE7FAE32A7B and use code EVERYWHERE SPONSORS: - Go to https://EstablishedTitles.com/BEARS to become a Lord today and get 10% off. - Go to https://3Chi.com and use code BEARS at checkout to receive 5% off your order - Go to https://WHOOP.com and use code “CAVE” at checkout to save yourself 15% off today. - Go to https://Vuori.com/bears to get 20% off your first purchase and enjoy free shipping on any U.S. orders over $75 - Go to https://HelloTushy.com/BEARS to get 10% off your order and FREE shipping. - Be the big winner this holiday season with a gift from MVMT. Go to https://MVMT.COM/CAVE! Join the MOVEMENT! - Get 50% off your new home security system by visiting https://SimpliSafe.com/bears. - Go to https://SkylightFrame.com and enter code BEARS to get $10 off your purchase. - Get 20% Off + Free Shipping at https://Manscaped.com/BEARS 2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer is back for another episode out of G-bay studios! Tom starts with how he grew up thinking he wanted to become a doctor, but realized he needed a higher GPA than the second lowest. The bears get into the trade off between working hard and enjoying nice things and if it's ultimately worth it. Bert then describes the BEST pep talk he ever got before going to an audition, which leads the bears to trade nightmare Hollywood stories. Bert then actively drinks water for a bit trying to reach a gallon for the day and how drinking out of water bottles makes his stomach hurt. Then the bears trade gambling stories about blackjack roulette, and craps, which then leads the bears to share confrontation stories with security.

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hey guys, big announcement. I am adding a show at Credit Union 1 Arena in Chicago on April 16th
0:07.2	my birthday. It's going to be a huge show and the tickets are going on pre-sale. This Wednesday
0:12.7	at 10 a.m. local time until Thursday at 10 a.m. local time with the code word everywhere.
0:18.6	If you wait till Friday, that's the general on sale. Get tickets. It's going to be a fun,
0:23.1	crazy night in Chicago. Yeah, I sleep naked and I don't wear underwear. And you always sleep naked?
0:28.2	Oh, I see. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. If I'm on the road, no, I take that back on
0:34.4	the tour bus I sleep in sweatpants. I don't I'm usually drunk. So I just pass out.
0:46.2	Hello, doctor. Doctor. Doctor. Do you think you'd be a doctor? You know that I had a fantasy
0:52.0	having a doctor, but a real one where I thought that it was going to happen for real. Yeah, but a doctor.
0:57.9	Well, I thought I wanted to be a cardiovascular surgeon. And then I was like, that's what I want to do.
1:04.6	And like when you're a kid and you say that people are like, that's really great. You feel that way
1:08.5	and you know that. And I didn't know that I'm a fucking idiot. So I I was like telling teachers
1:17.2	that and they were like, that is fantastic. The kid your age is already saying that, you know, I mean,
1:22.0	like you're like, oh yeah, yeah, oh, because they look for the kid that knows what he wants to do.
1:25.1	Sure. And if you have like ambitious goals like that, they try to, you know, call to their teachers,
1:29.5	you know. So I tell, it's it's it's ninth grade. And I tell my some of the teachers that and you
1:39.7	know, I'm I'm able to articulate it. And they're like, this is great. They don't, you know, most people
1:44.9	that pursue that field, their real strengths are not necessarily English, but the maths and
1:50.7	sciences. And that's where I would bomb. So before they're aware of how bad I am at that, I'm
1:56.7	expressing this idea. And then my dad calls his brother, who's a like a world renowned
2:04.5	urologist, right? Yeah. This guy invented a device that they remove kidney stones with. Okay.
2:11.2	So like they nickname it. You can go into it. It's now it's a little older. Yeah. But you if you
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