Dalai Trauma

Bitch Bible

PodcastOne

Talk Radio, Comedy, Society & Culture

4.6 • 14.6K Ratings

🗓️ 11 April 2023

⏱️ 47 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Jackie is getting ready for her therapy retreat and for one final purge decides to cancel the Dalai Lama, make a case for consensual beastiality and why we should rebrand slut shaming! She hath risen!

Transcript

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0:00.0	The following podcast is a deer media production.
0:16.0	Good morning everybody. She is chipper as a Christmas Easter chicken.
0:21.8	Lucky for you, bad for me. I'm in the worst mood ever today. I have begrudgingly crawled to this
0:27.6	studio, plopped myself in a microphone to just expel and purge all of the metaphorical demons
0:35.0	outside of my body. I am in the worst mood. I am walking around just like ready to headbutt somebody.
0:42.8	I feel like I want to lay in the floor and cry and then like slap someone and then light my house
0:48.3	on fire and then like, I don't know, all of the things. It's a very, I feel sluggish. I feel slow.
0:56.2	I feel like I'm not operating on all cylinders despite sleeping 10 hours last night.
1:03.4	Being pregnant is fucking weird. I go through moments in the day where I will laugh at something
1:09.2	that is like not even that funny to the point where I'm hysterically crying by myself like in a
1:13.6	full state of euphoria. And then three and a half minutes later, I'll, Andrew will like serve me
1:19.6	ice cream with the wrong shaped spoon and I could start hysterically crying and dreaming of throwing
1:25.2	myself into an open fire pit. So it's just, you know, she's up, she's down and she's sewing
1:32.0	and all around. I will tell you that after Easter Sunday, today's Monday, hate to break the magic.
1:39.0	After watching an abundance of these DIY kiddo Easter craft inspo videos, literally have only
1:47.1	inspired me to get a late term abortion. Yep, we are one minute 30 seconds in late term abortion.
1:53.9	Happy Easter, everybody. I'm headed to a therapy camp retreat this week. The timing could not be
1:59.7	better. Fucking kill me. Okay. She's packing her bags. She's packing her bugs spray and she's
2:07.2	headed north to go sit in a blissful electronic free state for seven goddamn days. I have never
2:14.9	looked forward to anything less in my entire goddamn life. Okay. Quote me on that. I'd rather go to
2:21.7	burning man. Then go to this goddamn therapy camp. I would rather, I would rather go to like a
2:28.7	like office supply convention for three weeks. Then go to this fucking therapy camp. I would rather go
	...

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