Hi, my name is John Kim. I'm a therapist who went through his own rebirth many years ago

and I've been documenting my journey ever since sharing my life lessons and revelations.

I believe in casual or clinical with you instead of at you. I come unrehearsed on purpose

because self-health doesn't have to be so complicated.

Today's episode is all Vanessa Bennett, my partner, who specializes in codependency, which I think is a foundational topic and this is her lecture from one of the retreats we ran.

It's going to be a series so look out for the other episodes.

It's I think imperative codependency is imperative to understand

when it comes to not just your romantic relationships,

for all your relationships.

So here's Vanessa Bennett.

So I always, my caveat are on caretaking.

So I say, what's the difference between caretaking and caregiving?

So caregiving comes from a true authentic desire to give to other people.

There's zero strings attached. It is from an authentic place of I love this person I want to do for this person.

Caretaking is actually more about us.

I am doing for you either because I expect something or want something in return or I'm

doing for you because it makes me feel better about myself. So like you're feeling upset or angry or you're struggling, let me fix it for you.

I'm doing that because I'm uncomfortable that you're uncomfortable.

Not actually because I truly desire, That might be part of my desire.

But a lot of that is I don't have the capacity to sit in my feelings of anxiety

because you're not okay.

We do this a lot with our kids.

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