What's up, my homie? This is Lisa Bilyu and of course you are listening to Women of Impact. Now most of us whenever actually talk how to read the signs, the subtle dominance cues, the competing energy, the moments where someone's discomfort is real but actually not obvious, so you're not sure what you imagine, is your gut instinct off? And when you don't actually know how to read, you just freeze or you're questioning yourself or you abandon your own gut instinct. Damn, we're never gonna do that again ladies.

So today I brought in the man who can decode the mess with surgical precision. That's right, that's my dude, former CIA spy, and you boost the intake. Now together we're breaking down the behind the scenes footage between Blake, lively and Justin Boldini. But this isn't gossip, this isn't chisininess, this isn't just a declare guilt or innocence, but it's actually for us to learn and teach us how to read in a whole time, body language, dominance and other signs so that you never get trapped, confused or manipulated again, because this episode goes way beyond Hollywood. It's about you, it's about me, it's about every single woman who's ever felt blindsided. And by the end of this episode, you will make sure and know that you will never fall for that again. So here's what we're digging into in this episode. If you're struggling to read the moment when someone is pulling you in, when you're actually trying to pull away, what Andrew breaks down the exact body language patterns that are happening between you and them, so that you can spot the same pressure cues in real life and protect your space early so that you

don't get trapped. Then if you're one of these people who constantly second guesses yourself because you're scared, that maybe you're overreacting, well Andrew reveals the subtle competition cues that show when two people are in convert power struggles, so that you finally can trust your instincts instead of silencing them. And then I don't know about you, but if you can't tell whether someone's behaviour is just awkward or actually crossing the line, then Andrew teaches us the difference between discomfort, dominance and genuine danger. Now when you take this in and you really learn it, you'll be able to take action before things accelerate, not after you full-trapped, but before. Alright, it's a buckle up, and let's dive right in right now with Andrew Buster Montet, former CIA spy, right here on Women of Impact. For people that may not know, while filming, it ends with us black lively, filed legal complaints alleging that co-star and director Justin Baldini improvised unwanted intimate contact. Justin's attorneys called this accusation false and intentionally salacious, and both parties are now involved in legal proceedings. So Andrew, I want you to tell us, is it toxic masculinity or is it weaponized victimhood? So we're gonna do the behind the scenes iPhone. This was just caught in between takes, it's seeing them in their natural habitat when they're not realizing that they're being filmed. I think that important versus when they're specifically acting. So play the video. So first, you'll see she walks out first, she walks out second. So this is not indicative of him being in control. However, stop right there. He touches his heart and then he reaches out and touches her arm. So we call this the initiation of contact. He is initiating contact first and he's doing it in a way where he's touching himself before he touches her, as if to say that he is communicating some deep feeling. And as if the feeling validates why it's okay to reach out and touch her. And you'll see this a lot with controlling men. Controlling men will say, I feel a certain way. And then because they're demonstrating their vulnerability, they feel like it's okay to now reach out and touch your leg or touch your hand or touch your arm, right? Or they might rub their knees and then reach over and touch your knee, right? If anybody has ever seen, if you remember back to being 13 years old holding hands for the first time, you probably saw somebody like rub their arm and then they reach over and they touch you. This is almost a subconscious human behavior where we are validating our desire to touch another person by essentially touching ourselves first. So he's initiating contact. Now, we're gonna keep playing because this is something I find equally interesting. Go ahead and play. Pause. She returns contact. Now, what's really interesting is if we can go back just like a frame or two to seeing her hand on his chest and his hand on her arm, yep, right there. So he's touching her from his arm down and his palm up. So this is a very open, vulnerable position. She's touching him from her fingers up and her palm down. He's inviting her in. She's making space for herself to keep him out. So whatever they're verbally communicating at the same time is very likely related to the touching that they have, but you're actually seeing how they're not on the same page. He's trying to bring her in to a thought, to a conversation, to him. She's keeping herself out of whatever his thought is, whatever his point is, or their physical proximity. So you can see that there's not a shared dynamic here. And I would argue that she's coming from the position of power because she led the way out. She responded to the touch. This is not a woman who is getting pushed around. This is a woman who may be uncomfortable,

but she is for sure not gonna let some man direct her. Okay, that was so beautiful. I wanna make sure that I say this out loud before we go any further. I don't know who's telling the truth. And so that's why I really wanted to go over this because look, I always wanna support a woman if she says that something bad has been done to her. But I don't want to ever excuse lies is the truth. And I've met Justin. He was on my show. And when I say he was the most gracious man ever, I'm not saying that he didn't do it. So let me just say that. But in my own experience, he was so wonderful. And I don't know because I've never been in that position. But I'm only going to project if I was her and someone was super inappropriate towards me. And even if I'm working with them, if they touch me, I'm stepping back. I'm immediately going, hang on a minute, you don't get to, because I'm already triggered. And so I don't know, there was something about him touching her and that she touched him back that made think that it doesn't show that she's scared or concerned. I agree. What we're seeing here is competition. And what we're seeing here isn't she stepping away from his touch. She is dominating over his touch. She is matching him touch for touch. This is two boxes in a ring. Somebody punches to the gut. Somebody punches to the face. Are you sure you want to punch me in the gut again? That's what we're seeing here is this competition.

Well, actually, other thing I thought of as you were talking

is, could she potentially have done that

as a form of control when you feel like you're losing control?

So I'm now gonna play Devils Out to Cut and the other side.

Is that I think I would step back,

but I think that's because I think I'll be a bit scared

and get triggered. But maybe there are women that are like, you don't get to dominate me here.

And so now that's actually her showing,

no, no, you can't push me around. Do you think that's also our possibility? That's why I call a competition. You can see that these two people are competing. He speaks, we walk out, she speaks. He speaks, she speaks. He speaks, so there's this competition of communicating ideas.

He touches, she touches, he touches, she touches.

There's a competition in the nonverbal space.

And... She speaks. He speaks. So there's this competition of communicating ideas. He touches. She touches. He touches. She touches. There's a competition in the nonverbal space and without audio

that's what we see in that visual exchange. So you know there's competition happening. You're just not quite sure what that

competition exactly is. And who's winning?

Okay, so we've now got a video of them actually on set during one of their kissing intimate scenes

and it's a behind the scenes video

so you actually hear what they're saying. I'd actually love to show bits of it so that you can see, is this just acting or is this power plays caught on camera? Absolutely. And camera. I'm in press the button. I've got a question for you. So she's making a suggestion.

And he rejects it.

...