Punishment. Can we raise good kids without punishing them? Is punishment just necessary to raise the type of kids that become fully functioning adults? This is a question I get all the time from parents. And I want to just come out

and say, I understand this question. I understand the skepticism. I think there's a lot underneath it,

because I think when we think about punishments on one side, we assume the absence means permissive

parenting on the other side.

And there's definitely something between. But the reason this is really on my mind is I just

got back from a work retreat. It was with a bunch of founders. We were talking about so many

interesting topics. And not surprisingly, the topic of parenting came up. There was a small group of us chatting one

night, and one of the dads in the group just started really challenging the idea that you could

raise good, well-behaved, resilient kids without punishment. And I love this conversation. It got

really heated. He was arguing that punishment is necessary to teach kids how the world works.

So they're prepared for the world.

Punishment teaches kids right from wrong.

Dr. Becky, you don't want to teach kids right from wrong.

This is an amazing, energetic, not argumentative, but just impassioned conversation.

And I learned so much about the assumptions we make as parents.

The fears we have, because I think we have a lot of fears around the idea of not punishing kids,

and I get that. And I think when we talk about punishments, we're always also talking about the lessons we've inherited from our own parents.

Anyway, this was such a rich conversation that it's still very loud in my mind. And I really wanted to come here to share the conversation with you because I have a feeling this topic is on your mind,

and I have a feeling this topic is on the mind maybe of your partner who isn't so sure about this good inside approach or a family member or a friend.

And I totally get that.

Hopefully this episode resonates,

and I actually think it's probably going to be one you want to send

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