The following podcast is a deer media production.

Hello everyone, it's another week I canceled on my guest because I just felt like talking to myself.

Simple could never.

I would like to take this opportunity right at the top of the show to dedicate this episode to

Vern Troyer. I'd like to publicly apologize to his spirit and his family for saying that I would

sooner fuck Vern six feet under than a man who drives a white Lexus. I would also like to

apologize to all the men in the Western hemisphere who drive white Lexuses. I feel like all I see

are white Lexuses now and men in white Lexuses with the spoilers to boot. And I'm really really

sorry. And while I stand behind the sentiment of last week's episode where I said that I would

sooner fuck Vern than a white Lexus driving man, you know what? Now that I'm saying it out loud

again, it's actually pretty complimentary to Vern. So I would like to revoke that apology.

Vern, you're welcome. I've weathered a microdick before I can do it again. I really did. I don't

know if I've talked about it. I had to have talked about the micro penis. Maybe I didn't. So I used

to date this guy. He follows me on Instagram. I've been talking about it more publicly because I

haven't seen him in a while and like, you know, I feel like it's kind of fair game. Also, it's not my

fault. He has a micro penis. I'm not using his name. I'm not saying specifics. He knows. I know. We know.

Everybody knows. People, my close friends who I endlessly talk about the microdick experience

always ask me what was it really like? It almost is like an inverted nipple in between two sahenken

balls. It's disgusting. Imagine, imagine you buy a bag of organic baby carrots. Maybe you go to

Trader Joe's. Maybe you're at Costco. Who knows? And there's that one carrot that's a little

vacaca, a little twisted, a little tiny, little verna, verna, Jason. And it's just hanging out in

the corner at the bottom of the bag. And you always just throw it out because it's so unappetizing.

...