Do you ever wake up day one of your menstrual cycle and think?

I might slap a stranger today.

That's where I'm at.

Hello, everybody, and welcome to another blissful week

of the bitch Bible podcast. Surprise, it's just me. Go fucking figure. I don't know about any of the

other ladies or gentlemen that are listening to this podcast, but day one of my menstrual cycle,

just call me Jackie Bin Laden. I am a terrorist. I am deflated. I am manic. I am

angry. I am rashy. I am bloated. And I am starving. Starving. If I could eat a stick of butter,

like a granola bar. And maybe I have, oh my God,

the saltine cracker with the butter with the extra flaky salt. I can't, I don't, I, oh, oh. Anywho,

this is going to be a very fun show. I'm feeling spicy yet sedated, which is kind of my favorite combination.

So I'm just going to say the thing that we aren't supposed to say. I wake up every morning

and I go on TikTok for 45 minutes. I've talked about this on the podcast before. It just kind

gets my wheels working. It gets me upset in the right way. It gets me angry. It gets me reflective.

It makes me love myself a little

bit more. I'm just going to say the thing that nobody's supposed to say. Nothing dehydrates the

Vigene like Jason Derulo on TikTok. I just, maybe it's because I'm menstrual, but I heard his

Savage Love remix first thing this

morning and I almost started crying. Like actually crying. And I, I couldn't tell if I was crying because

I thought it was so bad. It was funny or it offended me or I'm upset or I hate it so much or just I,

I really, I detest it and to the point of actual tears, like crying, real cry, real, real tears.

These TikTokers are so fucking embarrassing, all of you. So you can fucking dance. Big whoop. I don't care at all.

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