Bagels: A Definitive Ranking

Good Children

Joe Hegyes & Andrew Muscarella & Studio71 & Confetti Cannon

Comedy

5 • 2.1K Ratings

🗓️ 16 July 2025

⏱️ 70 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Good Children: The Podcast prides itself on award-winning journalism that isn't afraid to ask the hard-hitting questions that might make other comedian podcast duos uncomfortable. This week, we're tackling our toughest subject yet: would you f*ck that bagel? Find us on Patreon: no filter, no notes, and no pants (optional). New episodes drop every Thursday at 8PM EST. Only here: https://www.patreon.com/c/goodchildrenpod HOSTS: Joe Hegyes & Andrew Muscarella EDITOR: Kenzie EdmonsonLISTEN: https://linktr.ee/goodchildrenFOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM:https://www.instagram.com/goodchildrenpodhttps://www.instagram.com/joehegyes/https://www.instagram.com/andrewmuscarella Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	Oh, that's my prime delivery.
0:01.6	What, already?
0:02.7	Only one thing can match the buzz of Prime's fast delivery.
0:06.2	And that's the buzz of Prime's entertainment.
0:09.0	What are we watching?
0:09.7	Heads of state, that new action comedy with Idris Elber as the Prime Minister,
0:13.3	John Sina as the president, and Prianka Chopra Jonas,
0:15.9	as their only hope.
0:17.0	It looks like a blast.
0:18.2	From fast delivery to explosive entertainment, it's on Prime.
0:22.5	For only 899 a month, join now. Content includes limited ads, subscription or to renews. For more
0:27.7	information, go to amazon.com.uk.U.K., slash prime. I had the absolute pleasure of speaking to
0:33.0	Pamela Anderson. All thanks to the Dove Self-Esteen project. We speak about the impact Y2K has had on women's body confidence and how Pamela has regained control. The Dove Self-Esteen project is an amazing initiative supported by science-backed methodology to help us improve our relationship with our bodies. To find more body confidence-building exercises, go to Dove.com forward slash Y2K. That's Y2K spelt W.H.Y2K. I don't have my iPad anymore because I don't know where it is. It's somewhere in the apartment. I'm sure it's under a couch somewhere with your shoes. It's somewhere. It's somewhere. But I found out that your recommended or your maximum daily dose of caffeine a day is more than I thought.
1:14.0	How much?
1:15.2	I thought it was like 300.
1:16.8	A thousand.
1:17.8	Well, no.
1:18.8	Oh.
1:19.8	I think it rounds out a little under 500, but nobody trusts me on that.
1:24.5	Okay. Let's think about that.
1:25.6	It's not funny. Don't even believe me for a second.
1:27.1	500 milligrams of caffeine. Should I Google it? Should I Google it? I would Google it because at this point, it's, we're, this is a drug we're talking about. So we're now telling people what they can have. Oh, my God. All right, you guys, it's 400. Oh, God. I mean, that's five shots of espresso. Right. So it's like two lattes and then some. That's not bad. It's a cold brew and a half. It's, what is this again? That's 180 milligrams or 150. 150. Okay, that's so easy, Joe. I had three of your barometes in a day. Sure, that's my caffeine intake. Like, that's so easy, Joe. I had three of Yurba Mates in a day.
	...

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