Axed and Answered

Judge John Hodgman

Jesse Thorn

World, Show, Complete, Hodgeman, Comedy, Pc, Daily, Hodgman, Mac, More, Expertise, Knowledge, Information

4.8 • 7.7K Ratings

🗓️ 22 July 2015

⏱️ 56 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Should Adrian be allowed to purchase an artisanal axe, flouting house rules about weapons?

Transcript

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0:00.0	Welcome to the Judge John Hodgman podcast. I'm your guest Baylif Montibal Monti from WRSI
0:06.4	in Northampton, Massachusetts in for Jesse Thorn. This week, AXT and answered.
0:12.4	Jen brings the case against her boyfriend, Adrian. Adrian has his heart set on buying and displaying
0:19.2	an artisanal AX in their home. Jen says it breaks her rule against having weapons in the home
0:25.8	and opens them up to other beautiful but dangerous items. What's next? Hand-carved imperial
0:32.2	Jade Dragon swords? Adrian says to the old battle AXT from my cold artisanal hands. And that an
0:41.8	artisanal AXT would be a beautiful and practical item to own. Who's right? Who's wrong? Only one
0:49.1	man can decide, please rise as Judge John Hodgman enters the courtroom and issues the obscure cultural
0:55.5	reference. Summertime guest bail of Montibal Monti, did I ever tell you about my dream AX?
1:02.2	No. Let me tell you about my dream AX. Seeing an AXT in a dream foretells that what enjoyment you
1:08.8	may have will depend on your struggles and energy. To see others using an AXT foretells that your
1:13.6	friends will be energetic and lively, making existence a pleasure when near them. For a young woman
1:19.3	to see an AX in a dream, foretends her lover will be worthy but not possessed with much wealth.
1:28.1	A broken, rusty AX? Can you guess, Monty? You that you're going to get some sort of disease,
1:36.7	illness, exactly, illness, right, and loss of money in property. Pretty good guest bail of Montibal
1:42.7	Monti. My dream AX is a 1968 gold top left Paul. Oh, you're talking about guitars. I got
1:51.4	it. I'm talking about the AXS and Dreamers. I got it. Swear them in. Gen and Adrian, please rise and
1:58.7	raise your right hands. Now, Jen, put your right hand on the table. Adrian, reach for your
2:05.1	artisanal axe and bring it. No, no, no, no, stop. Neither of them have been committed of stealing.
2:13.5	Not this country. Do you swear that you cannot tell a lie and that it was you who chopped down
2:18.8	the artisanal cherry tree with an artisanal axe, so help you George Washington or whomever?
2:23.1	I swear. Do you swear to abide by Judge John Hodgman's ruling, despite the fact that using
	...

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