Welcome to the Judge John Hodgman podcast.

I'm Baylor Jessie Thorn.

This week, assault and hate batter battery.

Naomi brings the case against her husband, Spencer.

She's embarrassed by his loud and incessant heckling at baseball games.

He thinks it's fun, and he says major league players are fair game.

Who's right?

Who's wrong?

Only one man can decide.

Please rise as Judge John Hodgman enters the courtroom.

Well I know change is natural for any city, but must everything be torn down for change

to occur?

Isn't there room for a place where people from all walks of life can sit down and have

a good meal for you gimmicks and pretension?

Where the size of your party matters more than the size of your paycheck?

For both the sober and the inebriated can find comfort in a slice of scrapbook?

Isn't there, Jessie?

Swear them in while you think it over.

Please rise, raise your right hands.

Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth so help you

God or whatever?

I do.

...