April 12, 2011
TBTL: Too Beautiful To Live
TBTL
4.8 • 2.4K Ratings
🗓️ 12 April 2011
⏱️ 62 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Luke accidentally uses his vast knowledge of Afghanistan to hurt a co-worker's feelings, Jen contemplates buying a really fake ring in honor of William and Kate's Royal Wedding and TBTL presents one more reason to keep your kid away from Applebee's.
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | What is the secret to doing a show every single night for almost 30 years? |
| 0:05.0 | I stick to a strict routine. |
| 0:07.0 | Every day I wake up an hour and a half after I take my show. |
| 0:10.0 | I get five different newspapers and I read them until I'm done with my farting. |
| 0:14.0 | Then I'm ready to get out of bed. |
| 0:16.0 | Now here's where things get tricky. |
| 0:18.0 | My pajamas look remarkably like my clothes. |
| 0:20.0 | So there's a lot of confusion. |
| 0:22.0 | Oh, you have no idea the confusion that will prevail. |
| 0:32.0 | Just as soon as we get rolling on this Tuesday afternoon edition of TBTL, |
| 0:38.0 | this is the show that's probably too beautiful to live. |
| 0:41.0 | If you're watching an HD, I apologize. |
| 0:44.0 | I'm your host, Luke Burbank, weighing in at 100 and 83 pounds. |
| 0:51.0 | This episode is 793 in a collector series. |
| 0:55.0 | Hi, this is Luke's Mom Fuzzi coming tonight on TBTL. |
| 0:59.0 | There apparently is a problem with taking your child to Applebee's. |
| 1:05.0 | And it's not just the food. |
| 1:08.0 | It's that they might accidentally get slipped Mickey. |
| 1:11.0 | That would explain why we have so many drunk kids here. |
| 1:14.0 | We will explain also a new TBTL segment called TBTL. |
| 1:19.0 | Legal Roundup. |
| 1:21.0 | It's literally a legal. |
... |
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